Page 141 of Betrayal and Vows

"But you survived."

"Dmitri and I protected each other. We found ways to stay human when they tried to turn us into monsters. Small acts of rebellion. We shared food. Covered for each other during punishment. It was all about remembering who we used to be." I turn to look at her. "He saved me, Lena. More times than I can count."

"And you saved him."

"We saved each other."

“Dmitri is so… light,” she murmurs.

“He learned to cope with laughing. He jokes. It doesn’t matter how dangerous the situation is, Dmitri uses humor to cope.”

“Make sense.”

“It helps. Even if he pisses me off and annoys the shit out of me.”

She laughs softly. “I owe him everything. He kept you alive for me.”

“Yeah, he did.”

“How did you end up with Vadim?”

"I sought him out," I say finally. "After I graduated from the Center, I could have gone anywhere, worked for anyone. But I chose Vadim. I made sure I was the best. I wanted him to want me."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to destroy him from the inside." The words taste bitter. "I spent years gaining his trust, proving my worth, moving up in his organization. Every job, every kill, every act of loyalty was calculated. I was gathering intelligence, mapping his empire, waiting for the perfect moment to bring it all crashing down."

Lena is quiet, processing this. I can feel her studying my profile.

"I learned about Mikhail early on. Vadim's golden boy, his chosen successor. The more I discovered about him, the more I wanted to put a bullet in his skull." My jaw clenches remembering. "The way he treated women, the sadistic games he played. He’s a cruel man. And I’m a fucking assassin."

"And then you met me."

"And then I met you." I turn to face her fully. "You have to understand, Lena—you were never part of the plan. Never. When I first saw you at that party, I had no idea who you were. I just saw this beautiful woman who looked like she wanted to be anywhere else in the world."

Her eyes search mine. "When did you find out? About the engagement?"

The memory still makes my stomach turn.

"I wanted to kill Mikhail right then. Forget the plan, forget everything. Just put him in the ground before he could touch you."

"But you didn't."

"No. Because I realized something." I take her face in my hands, needing her to understand. "I realized that if I killed him then, your father would just find you another monster to marry. The system would continue. More girls would suffer. I had to be smarter."

“The night at the club…”

“No. That wasn’t planned. You were never part of the plan.”

“But you knew I was to marry Mikhail.”

"I couldn't stay away from you." The confession rips from my throat. "I tried, God knows I tried. But every time I saw you, I fell deeper. You weren't supposed to matter to me, Lena. You were supposed to be just another casualty I had to work around."

Tears shimmer in her eyes. "Was any of it real? Or was I just?—"

"Everything was real." I press my forehead against hers. "Every touch, every word, every moment I spent falling in love with you. Real. All of it. I love you.”

"I changed your plan."