Page 98 of More Than Friends

My house has never felt soempty.

I sit in my room, staring at Ava’s empty bed, wondering if I should’ve thought twice before letting my parents take her for the evening.

My mother was thrilled about the idea of Ava staying with them overnight. I didn’t know this, but after I first told them about Ava, they had workers come to their house to make a nursery for my daughter. She even made sure to purchase all the necessities for Ava to have at her house as well.

When she offered to take Ava for the night, I thought it’d be nice to have a night alone with Charlotte since she said she’d be coming home. I thought it would give us the chance to talk about whatever is clearly bothering her and what made her stay away for days. But she still hasn’t returned home. And no matter how many photos my mom sends of Ava looking happy as can be at their house, I can’t help but miss my daughter.

I also can’t help but miss Charlotte.

I thought with each day she didn’t come back that maybe her absence would make me understand why she felt the need to leave in the first place, but it hasn’t. All I’ve done is miss her and solidify that I’m in love with her.

I’ve fallen for my best friend.

How could I not?

It feels like I’ve fallen for her twice. Once, the very moment I met her. It was the sudden kind of love that I didn’t have the capacity to understand at the time. She was so magnetic that I found myself thinking about her all the time. All I wanted to do was find ways to spend time with her. I’d never felt such an intense pull to another person before until Charlotte. I pushed it away until I couldn’t anymore. I tried to pretend it wasn’t there until I fell for her a second time. The second time was after Ava. She stepped in so effortlessly that I couldn’t pretend any longer. She was there for me in a time when she didn’t have to be, and it was the first time I had real hope that maybe she could feel the same way I felt about her.

I’ve been terrified of telling her how I feel because I hate the thought of her not feeling the same way, but at this point, I hate the thought of keeping it to myself even more. She has to know how I feel, and I have to deal with whatever happens after I’m honest with her. I’ll tell her the moment she finally decides to come home, risking whatever happens next.

I don’t know how long I sit in my room, staring at Ava’s empty bed. It could be minutes; it could be over an hour. I get so lost in thinking about how I’m going to tell Charlotte I’m in love with her that I don’t even notice when she gets home.

There’s a soft knock on the door. “Jude? Are you in here?”

A knot loosens in my chest at the sound of Charlotte’s voice. I turn around, coming face-to-face with the woman who owns my heart. “Char,” I breathe, blinking a few times to make sure she’s here.

She gives me a tentative smile. “Hi.”

I stand up and take a step closer to her before stopping. I want to pull her in for a hug and press my lips to hers, but I don’t know if that’s something she wants me to do. It takes everythingin me to keep my feet planted. “I missed you,” I blurt out, my eyes immediately closing because I couldn’t sound any more pathetic.

She doesn’t say anything at first. She’s quiet long enough for me to work up the nerve to open my eyes and look at her once again.

“I missed you too,” she responds the moment our gazes meet.

My shoulders sag with a sigh of relief. I clear my throat. “Really?”

She nods. “Where’s Ava?” Her focus travels over my shoulder to the empty bed behind me.

“She’s with my parents for the night. Her first official sleepover.”

She raises her eyebrows. “How do you feel about that?”

My lip twitches with the hint of a smile. “They’re probably incredibly annoyed with the number of times I’ve checked in on her.”

My words earn me another one of her beautiful smiles. “I’m shocked you even agreed to it in the first place.”

I scratch at my neck. “I wanted the night to talk to you.”

Her eyes go wide, and I don’t know if it’s a good reaction or a bad one, but either way, I tell myself that I still need to be honest about what I want to talk to her about.

“Oh,” she whispers, giving no indication of what’s going through her head.

“Do you want to sit?” I ask, pointing to my bed. I pause, wondering if I should offer for us to go out into the living room instead.

Why do I suddenly feel so awkward? This is Charlotte. I don’t need to feel anxious around her, but nerves are the only thing I’m feeling right now.

Charlotte doesn’t answer, but she does step into my room before walking past me and taking a seat on the bed. “Sure,” she finally gets out once she’s sitting down.

I nod before I follow her lead and sit down on the edge of my bed. I want to sit so close to her that our bodies touch, but I make sure to leave room between us just in case that’s what she wants.