Page 93 of The Twisted Beats

He’ll never forget her. She’s forever burned into his memory. He even told me the sex was great. And they did it without a condom.

He’ll always want more of that feeling. The excitementand newness of it all. He’ll always want that, which they share.

He’ll always want her; that moment they gave to one another. It will never be mine.

He’s already halfway gone.Not if I have anything to say about it. I’ll kill her first.That internal voice terrifies me more. My thoughts trip over each other.

People speak around me, but all I hear are the words I already know to be true.

They always wantherover me. It’s alwaysher. They all wanther, not me. I’m just a replica, a fraud, pretending to be the first, the only, when I know I’m just a substitute. The second or next best thing.

My stomach roils. I’m about to throw up.

“Faith or Zara. Whatever the fuck your name is, that wasn’t how it went down and you know it.” Callum steps between us.

My head still spins. I’m not the one who’s wanted.

My heart tumbles out of my chest and the weight of the truth knocks the wind out of me. I clutch at my lungs and gasp for air. I can’t breathe.

My knees buckle and searing agony floods my bloodstream. I dig my fingernails into my skin to divert the pain. Anything to keep me from losing my mind.

“Bren…” That’s all I can get out.

“Livianna, what’s wrong?” Callum takes me in his arms.

“Leave her alone, Cash.” Bren, knowing me better than anyone, pushes him aside. “She’s having a panic attack. You can’t crowd her.”

Callum stiffens and points at Zara and Sebastian. “Get the fuck out and take him with you. Neither of you are welcome here.”

With his words, everythinggoes black.

A cold rag wipes over my face. “Come on, Liv. Just breathe and count to ten.”

I scratch at my wrist with my pointy nails and nod at Bren. I’m on the bed in the downstairs guest bedroom. Gia and Callum stand back, giving Bren space to get me back into the present moment.

“How fucking embarrassing. I want to claw out of my skin.” I tremble and turn away, taking the cloth from Bren. “Will you make them leave?”

Bren faces them. “Do you guys mind giving us some space?”

Gia points to the door. “Sure. I’m going to go see if I can find…my other friends.”

She leaves the room, but Callum doesn’t. He gets closer to the bed and stares down at me with his hands on his hips.

He glances between Bren and me. “What the hell is going on?”

“Nothing, Cash. She freaked out and now she’s fine.” Bren slides off the mattress and gets to his feet. “I’ve gotta get something for her upstairs. Why don’t you come with me so she can get herself together?”

“Fuck that.” Callum holds the bedpost. “Go get what you need, but I’m not leaving her alone.”

Bren tries to hide his face by turning away, but I see him roll his eyes before he does. “You can be such a stubborn asshole.”

“I’ve never claimed not to be one.”

Bren strides toward the door, flipping Callum off as he exits the room. Callum waits until he’s gone, then sits next to me.

He takes the wet rag from me. “What happened out there, Lily?”

I fake laugh with my head in a fog. “Do you need me to reenact the entire thing?”