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“Not even a little.” She rips off a piece of crust with a bit of extra aggressiveness. “I’m done with all that. For good. I’ll die a nun.”
I hate that sound of an emotional door slamming closed in her voice, followed by emotional deadbolts shuttering and emotional chains latching and emotional chairs being dragged over and shoved under the emotional doorknob. I was there for Jill’s bad times in a literal, physical sense—well, with the exception of The Year She Went Missing And Refuses to Explain—but even I don’t know the full extent of what she went through. When it comes to matters of the heart, Jillian has always kept things to herself.
“Jilly Bean…”
“I mean it,” she insists. “A nun. I’ve sworn off men for good except for the loving embrace of my Lord and Savior.”
I sigh and raise my slice of pizza to her. “Amen. Peace be with you. Or whatever the saying is.”
“But that doesn’t meanyouhave to be a bitter old spinster like me!” Jilly taps her pizza slice against mine like a cheesy cheers.“You’re young. You’re cute. You should be out there, swiping right on mediocre men and having terrible sex.”
“Wow,” I deadpan. “You really know how to sell it.”
“Okay, but for real,” she insists. “I’m serious! When’s the last time you even went on a date?”
I think about it. “March?”
“March ofwhat year?”
“Last year. I think. Maybe the year before.”
She sets down her pizza and grabs my hands across the table. “You need to get back on the apps. Hinge, Bumble, whatever the kids are flocking toward these days. Just put yourself out there and see what happens.”
It’s my turn to pull a sour face. “I tried the apps. They’re depressing.”
“That’s life as a modern woman. But you can’t just hide in your apartment forever, pining for some silver fox billionaire.”
“‘Pining’ is a really dramatic word choice, Bean.”
“That’s why they pay me the big bucks.” She clutches my fingers. “Download Hinge tonight. All you gotta do is look. Peek around. You don’t have to swipe on anyone. Just take a gander. Live a little. See what’s out there.”
I pull my hands back and reach for my drink. “Fine. I’ll think about it.”
“Promise?”
“I said I’llthinkabout it.”
She rolls her eyes, but she lets it drop and we move onto greener pastures. When we’ve had our fill of gossip, gin, and flatbread, we split the check and gather our things. I’m shrugging into my coat when I remember something else I meant to ask her.
“Hey, what ever happened with that big tip you mentioned? The one from Monday night?”
Jillian freezes for half a second. Then she’s back to normal, tugging her scarf around her neck. “Can’t talk about it.”
I ogle her. “Not even a hint?”
“Nope.” But her eyes are doing that bright, excited, high-on-life thing she gets when she’s onto something big.
“That good, huh?”
“Better than that, even.” She grabs her purse and slings it over her shoulder. “But I can’t jinx it. Not yet. When I can talk, you’ll be the first to know.”
“I better be.”
She pulls me into a tight hug. “Love you, RaeRae. Be safe.”
“Love you, too, Jilly Bean.”
She’s out the door before I can say anything else, red hair disappearing into the crowd on the sidewalk.
