Page 44 of It's a Widow Thing

“Michael, before you get mad, I didn’t know that Sabrina didn’t know.” Lydia popped up from her seat like a jack-in-the-box.

“Sabrina didn’t know what?” He seemed nothing short of befuddled as he stared at his mom.

“Your health problems.”

His jaw dropped, then he turned his sights to Sabrina. “I, uh…” He winced and rubbed his forehead. “Jesus. Mom.”

Sabrina was filled with an uncomfortable mix of confusion and dread. Half of what she was feeling made her want to run out the door.

The other half told her that she needed answers.

CHAPTERSEVENTEEN

On some level,Michael had always known that his mother would find a way to throw a wrench into Sabrina’s first trip to meet the family. But he hadn’t anticipated the way she would do it, by bringing up his heart condition during the course of a normal conversation. That was a miscalculation on his part. His mom left nothing on the table. She dragged anything and everything out into the open. And now, he and Sabrina were out in the open, too—out in the open of the backyard.

“When were you going to tell me?” Sabrina asked, making as much eye contact as humanly possible as they walked down to the gazebo.

Never?That was what he really wanted to say. It was the truth. There was a wholly irrational part of him that had hoped it would all simply go away. That he’d magically be better one day, simply from cutting back on cheese and trying to drink less during the week. “I don’t know. I hadn’t really planned it out. I guess I was waiting for the right moment.”

“What’s the prognosis?”

Good God. That word. It made it sound like he was at death’s door. “It’s good. I mean, I’m still young. I need to be better about lifestyle changes, but it’s hard.”

She glanced at him, then looked off at the horizon. The sun was already starting to dip lower in the sky. “Can you understand why this would upset me?”

“Sabrina, it’s not like I’m going to die.” He instantly regretted his choice of words. “I mean, not anytime soon. I don’t think.” For a split-second, the idea of keeling over right there on the spot held a certain appeal. At least he wouldn’t be in the hot seat.

She walked up the steps of the gazebo and took a seat at the far end. “Well, that’s a relief.”

He shook his head, disappointed by his own lack of communication skills. Why couldn’t he figure out how to do this whole relationship thing? Oh, right. Because he’d never truly tried before. He sat right next to her, needing her close. “I’m really sorry. I would have told you at some point. I guess I just didn’t want to give you any reasons to, you know, dump me.” A cool wind blew between the wood columns of the gazebo, reminding him of that first night he’d kissed her. He wished he could go back and do some things over again, like tell her everything from the start.

“Do you think that little of me?”

“No. I think the world of you.” He took her hand and pulled it into his lap. “But I also got to see firsthand how hesitant you were to get involved with someone. And I know where that comes from. Maybe it’s a guy thing, but I only wanted to show you my best self. The version of me that doesn’t have a weakness.”

“Michael. I like you for you. I like you because you’re kind and sweet and funny. I like you because you make me feel good about myself. I like you because you take the time to understand me. It doesn’t matter if there’s something wrong with you. We all have flaws. But I don’t want you to hide any part of you.”

Her words rang loud and clear in his head. His health issues weren’t the only thing he’d been hiding. There were his feelings to address at some point, too. But as the person who’d spent a lifetime playing the guy who let everything roll off his back? He wasn’t yet ready to rip off the mask completely. “The most important part of me is that I care about you and I’m not going anywhere.” Those two admissions were the truth. And as much as he could divulge in one sitting.

“Well, good. I’m not going anywhere, either.” She managed a faint smile. “Your mother is watching us from the kitchen window, you know.”

“Do you want to make out? Just so she has something to talk about?”

Sabrina laughed, which was a salve to his very soul.

Michael waved at his mom to let her know he was on to her. Even from this distance, he could see her frown before she dropped out of sight. “Normally, I hate it when she inserts herself into every damn thing, but in this instance, maybe it was okay. Maybe it was a good thing.”

She patted him on the leg. “I think it probably was.”

“What do you want to do now?”

“Is taking a nap an acceptable activity? Because after that lunch and our conversation, I could use a little downtime.”

He squeezed her hand tightly. “Yes. I’m wiped out, too.”

They walked back up to the house and managed to avoid his mother, who was on the phone. Tiptoeing up to their room, they kicked off their shoes and climbed on to the bed, then snuggled up under the extra quilt. As Michael drew in a deep breath and felt the gentle pull of sleep, he drank in Sabrina’s sweet smell, thankful for every tiny hurdle they managed to get past.

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