Page 52 of It's a Widow Thing

Sabrina had no idea that was Michael’s middle name.

There was so much to learn about him. There was so much they hadn’t discussed. There were so many things she hadn’t been able to say to him. And as she entered this place where lives were saved and sometimes lost, it took everything in her to keep it together.You can do this. He needs you.The nurses scrambled to find Michael a spot in the triage. They wheeled out equipment. Within seconds, there were wires and tubes and a mass of people. A doctor began shouting orders. Everything in front of her narrowed to a point—Michael—and she wondered if this was going to be the second time in her life that she felt like she’d run out of time.

CHAPTERTWENTY

The thing Sabrinamost wished she could escape was the hospital smell. It was such a peculiar and singular odor that she’d once tried to identify the individual notes, but only got so far as bleach, disinfectant, coffee, and carnations. Then she’d stopped analyzing it when she realized that it was about to be woven into the fabric of her most difficult memory, and that it would ultimately signal only one thing—saying goodbye.

Sitting in Michael’s room and watching him sleep, she was now wrapping her head around new memories. Like standing back while they cut off his shirt. The doctors asked countless questions, and he’d answered in a shaky tremble, with stops and starts and stammers. It was the first time she’d heard him scared. The nurses attached electrodes to his chest and his eyes reflected everything Sabrina was feeling—sheer vulnerability and utter helplessness. It was hard to believe that on the heels of so many major tests in their relationship, they’d been presented with the ultimate crisis. The one Sabrina most lived in fear of. And now it was part of their history.

She’d pushed her chair right next to his bed. There was comfort in sitting as close to him as humanly possible. Lydia and Brian had arrived an hour or so ago, after Sabrina called Alyshia to let Michael’s family know what was happening. They were a welcome presence in the room. Sabrina didn’t know Lydia and Brian well enough to fall apart in front of them. They were forcing her to keep it together. Lydia had parked herself in another chair on the opposite side of Michael, while Brian paced between the window overlooking the parking lot and the door.

Brian came to a stop at the foot of Michael’s bed and stared at his brother, as if that might be enough to bring him back to consciousness. “I don’t understand why he isn’t awake. The doctor said he should be up any minute, but that was a half hour ago.”

“It’s the sedative they gave him,” Sabrina said. “The nurses said some people get really knocked out by it.”

“He’s always been like this,” Lydia said as she tapped away at her phone with her reading glasses on the tip of her nose. “I gave him Benadryl once when he was little and he slept for eight hours in the middle of the day.” She was endlessly calm despite the fact that this was her son. But perhaps it was because she’d seen so much. Nothing fazed her.

Sabrina’s phone beeped with a text. It was from Kendra. She was the second person Sabrina had called after Alyshia, if only to find out what was likely going on while Michael was back in the place the nurses called the Cath Lab, and Sabrina endured the interminable wait for an update.Spoke to his doctor. Prognosis is great. Call me if you need to talk or we can catch up at our meeting tomorrow night if you’re able to come.

Sabrina was so relieved to hear this news, even though Michael’s doctor had said the same thing when they wheeled Michael into his room. It was simply nice to hear it from a person she trusted as much as Kendra.Thank you so much. Not sure if I’ll be there tomorrow night. I’ll try. You’re the absolute best.

Send Michael my love. Hang in there. You’ve got this.

Like so many other times, her fellow widows understood how difficult it could be to endure events that mirrored the past. Those often popped up out of nowhere.Thank you. XOXOSabrina sent her reply to Kendra, then tucked her phone under her leg.

At that moment, Michael opened an eye. Then the other.

“Oh, my God.” Sabrina popped up out of her chair and reached for his hand. She wasn’t sure if it was because she’d gotten up so quickly or if it was emotion, but she was dizzy. A tidal wave of relief and joy crashed into her. Finally, she could see the sparkle in his eyes again. “You’re awake.”

“I’m awake,” he muttered. “What happened?”

“You were about to have a heart attack. They did an angioplasty,” Sabrina said.

“Michael. I was so worried.” Lydia appeared on his other side, gripping the bed’s side rail.

“Hey, Mom.” He looked up at Brian, who was still standing at the end of the bed. “You’re here, too? Does this mean I’m dying?”

Sabrina smiled. The swift return of smart aleck Michael was another welcome sign of normalcy. He might have nearly had a major heart attack, but his brain was working just fine.

“Apparently Mom tried to kill you with chicken and dumplings, but it didn’t work. Next time,” Brian quipped.

“Brian Jerome Wright. That’s not funny,” Lydia snapped.

“He’s not wrong, Mom. You might need to lay off the butter.” Michael turned his attention to Sabrina, delivering his lopsided grin. “Hey, you.”

“Hey.” She squeezed his hand. “How are you feeling?”

“Pretty good. I don’t know what they’re giving me, but it feels great.”

“Really? I think it’s mostly anticoagulants and IV fluids.”

“Well, that’s not much fun.” Michael smiled at her and settled his head into the pillow.

“The doctor said you got to the hospital just in time, Michael,” Lydia said. “You were very lucky. You need to pay serious attention to what your body is telling you.”

“Sabrina saved your butt,” Brian said.

He stroked the back of Sabrina’s hand with his thumb. “Thank you. Thank you for not listening to me and having the presence of mind to take over.” A tear leaked out of the corner of his eye.