Page 41 of Venus in Disguise

“Oh,” Narcissa said uneasily, discomforted by the idea she had been examined whilst she slept.

“Don’t look so worried,” he said softly. “Mrs Fenchurch was with him and he’s our family physician, a sensible man even my grandmother approved of, and I can tell you she was not easily impressed. She disliked anyone in the medical profession, especially men, but she liked Dr Randolf. He said he thought there was no harm done, but you are to stay abed for a few days until you recover your strength.”

“Why didn’t your grandmother like doctors?” she asked, diverted by the information and finding herself eager for any scrap of knowledge about him, about his family. For she wanted to know him, to understand him, everything there was to know.

“My grandmother didn’t like a good many people, especially men, and did not hesitate to tell them,” he said with a wry smile. “I wish she were here now.”

“To see if she liked me?” Narcissa guessed.

He laughed a little at that. “Well, not only for that, but she was an excellent judge of character and had an opinion about most things. And advice, too.”

Narcissa swallowed, wondering what he thought his grandmother would have said. Seeing the troubled look on her face, his expression softened.

“I think she would have liked you,” he said. “And I think you would have liked her, too, though she would have made your hair stand on end with the shocking things she said.”

She returned a tentative smile, wondering if he was just being kind or if he really believed that. “I’m sure I would have liked her, if you thought so highly of her, though perhaps I would not meet with her approval after throwing myself upon your mercy,” she said sadly, studying his face. “You miss her.”

“Every day,” he replied with a nod. He smoothed the silk robe where it lay over his knee, his expression wry. “Naani Maa was a wicked old woman with a talent for mischief. She loved tawdry romance books and wore the brightest colours she could get her hands on. No one else has ever made me laugh, nor blush, like she could. She was wise and kind and she would have known what I ought to do, what I ought to say, so that I didn’t make a mess of things. As for what you’ve done, she would certainly have approved of you taking fate into your own hands.”

“And would she have approved of you marrying me?”

There was a brief silence. “I don’t know,” he admitted.

“You don’t have to, you know.”

“And what will you do when your father comes for you?” he asked, his tone grave, and Narcissa was riveted by the intensity in his indigo eyes. She could not take her eyes off him. “You belong to him, Narcissa. Your only safety lies in taking my name.”

Narcissa gazed at the perfection of his beautiful face, emotion rising in her chest as she stared at the handsome man before her. He made her heart beat faster, made her want to be reckless, to throw caution to the wind and do whatever it took to make him love her.

“I want to,” she admitted breathlessly. “I think… I think I could be happy as your wife. B-But I don’t know if you want me, if it’s truly what you want. I’m afraid it isn’t. Not really, and I don’t want you to hate me for forcing your hand.”

He did not speak for a long moment, only stared at her, as if he thought he might see inside her mind if he looked long and hard enough. Sighing, he got to his feet and moved to the bed, sitting carefully on the mattress beside her. Narcissa’s senses leapt as he took her hand, his long fingers tracing patterns over her palm, stirring the blood in her veins as if it too wanted to move closer to his touch.

“There is an attraction between us. I feel a… a pull,” he confessed as he raised her hand and laid it flat against his chest. Narcissa swallowed as she felt the hard quilting of muscle beneath the silk of his robe, felt the warmth of his body and the steady thud of his heart. “I feel it here, a connection that keeps tugging me towards you. If I let my instincts alone guide me, they would bring me to you. I felt it from the start, much to my dismay. I tried my hardest to fight it, you know, for I believed you despised me.”

“You thought I despised you?” she exclaimed in surprise. “But I never did, and you were awful to me.”

He returned a regretful smile, his eyes lowering. She stared at the thick sweep of dark lashes that hid the intense blue of his eyes, waiting for him to speak. “It hurts when the object of your desire is one who believes you are worthless. It made me angry. I assumed, wrongly, that you would have taken your father’s beliefs as your own and so I punished you for it before you could hurt me. I am sorry for that. It was unfair of me to judge you when I knew nothing about you.”

Narcissa blinked hard, finding tears stinging her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

He looked up, his dark eyebrows tugging together. “What for?”

“For any insult the duke ever gave you, if he ever made you feel… less than you are. Please believe that it only shows me how small-minded and cruel he is, though I have no need of any further proof. I… I came here to tell you how much I admire you, how much I—”

The press of his lips against hers halted the words and Narcissa sighed, closing her eyes and reaching for him. This… this was why she had come, her heart told her. She had come because she could not stay away, no matter how selfish it was to throw herself at him. Though she had not expected him to rescue her when he had no obligation to do so, she had hoped he might feel the same way and wish to do so. Surely no one could ever be certain they had made the right choice, that they would be as happy as they hoped to be, but just as his instincts tugged him towards her, she felt the magnetic power of her desire for him as if he’d reeled her in on a line. Not just passion though, not just desire, she wanted to know him, to discover everything about this charismatic man who made her breathless every time he was near. She believed she did understand him a little now, especially with the words he had just given her. If he had believed she thought him beneath her, she could well understand the way he had acted. How it must gall him when stupid, ignorant people acted as though they were superior to him. The desire to protect him from any such hurt again rose inside her, a possessive sensation that filled her chest and made her feel braver than she might ordinarily be.

Narcissa slid her fingers into the silken warmth of his hair as he pulled her into his arms, his lips moving softly over hers.

“I have thought of this,” he whispered against her mouth. “I have thought of this every day and every night since I told you to go.”

“So have I,” she admitted, gasping as he deepened the kiss, taking her mouth ravenously, as though he was starving for the taste of her.

There was a quiet knock, and the door to the room swung open.

“Are you awake, my lady, I just thought—” The housekeeper stopped just inside the door, holding a tray and glaring at Ash, who had moved smartly away from the bed, but not quite quickly enough.

“I’m sure I didn’t mean to interrupt,” she said stiffly. “I thought the young lady was resting like the doctor told her to.”