Page 52 of Venus in Disguise

“F—” The obscenity was lost in the spluttering and choking that followed and Ash stood back, watching his handiwork as Larkin stood rigid, shivering and utterly furious—but somewhat more alert than he had been.

“That’s better,” Ash said grimly.

“You bastard!” Larkin said, and made the mistake of taking a swing at him. Ash dodged with ease and gave his friend a shove that had Larkin windmilling backwards and sitting on his arse, blinking in surprise. “That was unsporting,” he grumbled.

“You started it,” Ash muttered, hauling him back to his feet and shoving him back indoors again. “Now tell me what the bloody hell has been going on.”

Several cups of coffee later, and Larkin had explained all he could about Hart and Fidelia’s elopement, and Fidelia’s baby. Once Ash had heard the story in full, he understood his friend’s current state of inebriation and the whitewashed portraits of Miss Hastings.

“We’d spoken about getting married,” Larkin said, his tone devoid of emotion now as he stared down into his coffee cup. “I thought she trusted me. I certainly trusted her, and all this time she was hiding this secret. I mean, I can understand her not telling me at first, but it’s been years, Ash. She asked me to be patient after what she’d been through, and so I thought—” He shrugged, apparently unwilling to go on.

Ash hesitated, not knowing quite what to say. “You were very decent to her, Larkin. Honourable.”

Larkin nodded morosely. “And look where that got me. She would have let me marry her, believing the child was hers. Surely, she must have realised I’d figure it out in the end. On our wedding night for example. So why? Why would she do that?”

Ash shook his head. “I can’t answer that. I suppose she was afraid of losing him.”

Larkin’s expression darkened. “Yes, to his mother. All this time, and she never considered that maybe Fidelia had not given up the baby willingly. She must have known that was a possibility, but it was easier to think ill of the child’s mother rather than try to contact her, to give her a little peace of mind. The poor woman has driven herself half mad over the past years, and Elmira could have reassured her the boy was safe, at least, even if she did it anonymously.”

“I’m sorry,” Ash said, seeing the disillusionment in Larkin’s eyes. “Though in truth she had no valid reason to think the mother hadn’t been willing. Perhaps she feared contacting her would cause the child more trouble, that she would lose him, and she did take the boy as her own.”

“Yes, she did. She sacrificed everything for him, and I shall never cease admiring her for that, but… but she didn’t trust me, Ash, and she never gave the boy’s mother a second thought. She’s not the person I thought she was. All this time, I waited for her, doing everything I could to ensure she knew she could trust me, and for what?” Larkin ran a hand through his hair, looking so utterly miserable Ash’s heart went out to him.

“What now?”

Larkin shrugged, his familiar lopsided smile not meeting his eyes this time. “It’s over. We both said too many things that cannot be undone. She says her brother’s behaviour made her wary, but to compare me to that damned scoundrel? Bloody hell, Ash. Now I see she has always held me at arm’s length, and I cannot marry a woman who refuses to trust me, and that I can no longer trust in return. That is no basis for a future together.”

Ash considered Larkin’s words, hearing the ring of truth in them, and knowing he had been doing the same to Narcissa. He had been holding back, not ready to trust her with his heart when she had trusted him enough to put her entire future in his hands. Not only was she far braver than he’d given her credit for, she was his wife now. If he wanted them to have a future together, he must put his trust in her, no matter how daunting the prospect.

“So, what will you do?”

“I’ll go to the club and give you some privacy, for starters, though I still can’t believe you’re married,” Larkin replied ruefully. “And then I shall get drunk enough that no amount of coffee will sober me. After that… who knows? Perhaps I’ll stay with Muir and Hamilton and see what mischief they're up to these days. I’ve missed out on a good deal, it seems, as you and Leo have not ceased to rail at me for. You were right, weren’t you? I ought to have stayed away from Gillmont.”

“If you think either of us would take any pleasure in saying ‘I told you so,’” Ash said grimly.

Larkin waved a hand. “No, no, I know that. Don’t mind me, I’m just blue devilled. But I shall come about, just see if I don’t.”

Ash smiled. “Of course you will.”

“Congratulations, by the way. She’s certainly a beauty. The season’s diamond, too. Well done you, Ash.”

Ash grinned, feeling pleased with himself despite the circumstances.

“You must let me paint her portrait,” Larkin added thoughtfully.

“Don’t push your luck,” Ash replied, getting to his feet and stretching. “She’ll probably have decided to divorce me for leaving her by herself for so long, in any case.”

“Good lord! You rotten scoundrel. What are you thinking? And on your wedding day, too,” Larkin said in alarm. “Tell you what, I’ll do a portrait of the two of you. My wedding gift to you. How’s that?”

“That’s a charming idea, and I’m sure she’ll be delighted. Thank you,” Ash said, meaning it, for Larkin was exceptionally talented, but cautious about exhibiting his work. He rarely took commissions. “And, once we’re settled, you’re always welcome, you know that.”

“Oh, yes, I’ll come and play gooseberry,” Larkin said with a snort. “Don’t you worry about me, old man. I’ll be fine.”

Chapter 15

Dearest Fidelia,

If the scandal sheets are correct, you are now Lady Fidelia De Beauvoir. I am so happy for you, my dear friend. I wish you every future joy in your marriage and congratulate you for having escaped what I am told was a very unhappy situation.