Page 36 of Kidnapping Cordelia

I know so little of men and their ways, Cissy, and I do not know what to make of him. He is so very handsome, and he makes me feel things I have never experienced before, yet I do not know him well. I know he is a good man, and an honourable one, but I do not know if he would make me a good husband, or for that matter, if I should be a wife he could be content with. I do not even know if he likes me; I know he feels aggrieved at being trapped into marriage. Yet sometimes it’s so easy to be with him, and the way he looks at me makes me think perhaps he does like me a little, and then he says something that makes me furious, and it all goes wrong.

It is all happening so fast, and I feel I have little control over my fate. For the time being, I have told him I will not marry him, for I believe as much as his intentions are honourable, his resentment at being caught in this ridiculous situation is colouring his feelings. Sometimes I think we are well suited, but at others I see he is a stubborn creature and I know I would have to battle hard for the things I want. I’ve never considered myself a very strong person, Cissy, and I’m afraid to make the wrong choice. How I wish you were here to give me your advice and make me brave, for I was always so much braver when I was with you. I promise you I will try to be strong, for my own sake.

―Excerpt of a letter from The Lady Cordelia Steyning to The Lady Narcissa Anderson.

31st March 1850, Wildsyde Castle, The Highlands of Scotland.

The next day, Delia came down the stairs to a deal of excitement, as a coach had been seen in the distance coming towards the castle. Delia prayed her letter had got through to Wrexham, for she did not feel equal to seeing him. She had eaten breakfast in her room this morning, for she had slept ill, plagued with thoughts of the row she’d had with Muir… and of the way she had felt when he had touched her.

That there was something between them was obvious enough, but that he only seemed to feel it only when he wasn’t honour bound to marry her, seemed equally clear. She should never have let him kiss and touch her so after having refused his offer of marriage. It had confused everything, and he likely thought the worse of her for having done so. Judging from the giggles she’d heard from two young maids this morning when they passed her in the corridor, he’d certainly been right enough about the gossip. Her refusal to marry him in the face of it had certainly shocked him.

Perhaps he believed now that she had led Enoch on and had deserved to be abducted. Uneasily she banished that notion, telling herself that Muir was too decent a man to think any such thing. That he must think her bold and most unladylike, however, was a notion she could not shake. Yet the arrogance of the man, changing his mind again and saying they must get married, after confessing the arrangement was what had kept him away…! And so, her emotions lurched from anxiety to dismay to fury and back again, until she felt quite exhausted.

“Who is it?” she asked Luella as that lady appeared in the hall, hurrying towards the door.

“It’s Hamilton, Lyall and Muir’s younger brother,” Luella replied with a smile. “Brace yourself, my dear.”

Not knowing quite what to make of this statement, Delia watched with interest as the coach drew to a halt and the door swung open. A man stepped down from the carriage, took one look at Luella and grinned broadly.

“Now that’s what I like to see, a bonnie lassie come to greet the prodigal, aye?” he said, reaching for Luella and grasping her by the waist, swinging her up in the air and around before setting her down again.

“Hamilton!” Luella exclaimed breathlessly, putting a hand to her hair and flushing pink as she glanced at Delia. “We have company, you dreadful creature. Behave yourself.”

“Oh, aye?” Hamilton said, turning his attention to Delia, who felt colour rise to her own cheeks at the intensity of his gaze. “So we do, and pretty company it is too, are ye no going to introduce me, Luella?”

“Only if you behave yourself. Delia, do be careful, this fellow is the most dreadful rogue, but I had better do the thing properly. Delia, please meet Hamilton Anderson. Hamilton, the Lady Cordelia Steyning.”

“My lady,” Hamilton said gravely, giving her a formal and very elegant bow, though there was a wicked twinkle in his eyes as he did so. “I am very pleased to make yer acquaintance.”

“Delia is betrothed to Muir,” Luella told him sternly as he raised her fingers to his lips.

“No, I’m not,” Delia said, before she could think better of it. She had not yet had the chance to explain things to Luella and had intended to do so in private that morning. Blurting the thing out on the front doorstep in front of his brother was hardly polite, but it was too late now.

“What?” Luella said, aghast, as Hamilton gave a burst of laughter.

“I dinnae blame ye, lassie. One look at me and ye decided the younger brother was the one to have, aye?”

“Hamilton!”

“Sir!”

Both Luella and Delia turned on him as one and Hamilton returned an unrepentant smile.

“Ach, I’m only pulling yer leg, my lady. Luella. Don’t murder me before I get in the door. I beg your pardon, only I could nae resist. Forgive me?”

He gave them a smile that was somehow both sheepish and wolfish, which was quite something to behold, and Delia decided Muir’s younger brother was incorrigible and ought to be treated with a good deal of caution.

“I think we had best go inside,” Luella said, sending Delia a worried glance. “Delia, we’ll talk about this in private once I’ve shown Hamilton to his room. How long are you staying with us?” she added to her brother-in-law as she led him up the stairs.

“Trying to get rid of me already, pet?” he asked as he hefted a large bag one of the footmen had taken from the luggage rack on the coach.

Luella sent him an impatient look, and he relented.

“I dinnae ken. I came to see Muir, for I’ve heard many outlandish tales about what he’s been about of late, and then I got a letter from Lyall telling me I’d best come at once for our brother is in rare form and has got himself into a deal of mischief. So here I am, come to put the world to rights, aye?”

“Well, it was very kind of you to come and support your brother,” Delia said, realising that despite his banter, his intention had been to be beside his sibling during a difficult time.

“Aye, it was,” he said, for apparently modesty was not one of his traits. “And much thanks the devil will give me for it, I dinnae doubt,” he added with a sigh.