Page 6 of Eight for Losing, One for Loving

“They do,” Leo insisted, his expression somewhat mulish. “You just don’t notice them, drat you.”

“Fiddlesticks,” she retorted. “Now for heaven’s sake, drive on. Or do you wish to sit and quarrel on the doorstep all afternoon? I believe we have given our new footman enough of a show,” she added in an undertone, aware that Pembury was watching them. No, not them – Leo. She frowned but Leo’s voice caught her attention.

“No, I want to go on a romantic drive with a beautiful woman who is doing her best to send me to Bedlam,” he replied, before giving his tiger the instruction to let the horse go.

Vi sighed, wishing such words didn’t have the effect of making her feel happy and tearful at the same time. Turning her head resolutely away from Leo, she watched the world around her as he took them through the busy street. It was impossible to ignore him, though, and she felt herself drawn back into the aura that surrounded him. Being close to Leo was like being bathed in sunshine. Whilst his attention was upon you, it was as if you were the best and most special person in the world and, when it was gone, you were left feeling chilled and alone. As a girl, she had adored him, and drank in every scrap of attention he would give her, but she had become used to the fact she could not hold it for long. There was always a boxing match, a race, a party or some event that would see him careering away from her at breakneck speed to whatever bit of fun was on offer that day. He was an energetic man, one who loved to ride and drive, and he found it hard to sit still. People gravitated towards him because of the energy and enthusiasm that radiated from him. It was magnetic and irresistible, but it was also fleeting, for his attention waned rapidly and then he would look for the next source of interest, the next bit of fun. Dangerous fun, usually.

Perhaps if the things that took him away had not been so reckless she could have been braver, could have taken that chance on him, but there had been too many times when she had feared he would wind up dead in a ditch, thrown from a horse or carriage, or beaten to a pulp by some adversary he had underestimated. She only knew a small fraction about his hare-brained adventures, but there had been enough to give her sleepless nights. How would that feel if he was no longer just a childhood friend, she was far too fond of for her own peace of mind, but her husband, father to her children?

Vi could not live that life with him. She liked peace and quiet. A morning sitting in the sunshine with her embroidery was one of her favourite things. She loved the serenity it gave her and the time to just be, without having to think or to please anyone but herself. There was no chance of her life being turned upside down by grief if she sat still and concentrated on her beautiful designs. She knew what it was to lose everything, for the people she loved to be torn from her and leave her all alone. Losing her parents had felt like the end of her world, and even Kitty and Luke’s generosity and boundless love had struggled to mend the damage. She feared losing Leo might actually destroy her if she allowed herself to love him. But even if he did not kill himself doing something reckless, life with Leo would be a series of arguments punctuated by goodbyes as she waved him off to one event after another, leaving her to worry over him and to wonder what he was up to and whom with. Leo was a beautiful man, and women wanted him, women far prettier and younger and more exciting than Vi. She’d seen one of his mistresses once and marvelled at her extravagant beauty. She had quite cast Vi in the shade… and there would always be women like that wanting his attention. No matter his intentions, temptation would beckon on all sides, and Vi did not rate her own assets highly enough to believe she could hold him.

“Penny for them?” Leo asked, his voice soft.

Vi blushed as she realised he was watching her and shook her head. “They’re not worth that much, I assure you.”

“I’d give a king’s ransom to know what they were all the same,” he told her. “Perhaps then I could understand you better.”

“You understand me well enough,” she replied, darting him a swift smile. “I’m an argumentative, contrary creature who would say black was white just to vex you.”

He laughed at that, and her stupid heart leapt at the sound. “At least you admit it, you dreadful girl.”

To Violetta’s surprise, Leo stopped the tilbury once they were alongside the Serpentine and the tiger came around to take hold of the horse.

“Find some shade, Norton. Miss Spencer and I are going to take a little stroll. If that’s all right, Vi?”

“Certainly,” she replied, accepting his hand and climbing down from the carriage.

“Come along, Mau, you too. You’re getting fat,” Leo told the cat, who stood and stretched languidly before leaping to the ground. He wound himself back and forth around Leo’s shiny boots, purring.

“Don’t you ever worry he’ll run away?” Vi asked, as Leo offered her his arm and they walked along the lakeside. Mau trotted beside them, occasionally running off to investigate something scurrying in the undergrowth.

“No,” Leo said, shaking his head. “He’s had plenty of opportunity to do so. I think he was a dog in a previous existence. Either that or a king.”

Vi laughed. “There’s a rather large discrepancy between the two states.”

Leo shrugged. “All the same.” He looked around at Mau, who had stopped to take a drink. When he was done, Leo whistled and Mau bounded after them and then stalked on ahead, tail aloft. “He’s the most marvellous companion. I adore the great brute.”

“I know you do,” Vi said, glancing up at him and feeling the usual stab of melancholy as she looked at the handsome face she knew and loved so well. The affection he held for Mau, and for all animals, was one of the most endearing things about Leo. She knew he thought nothing of staying up all night and sleeping in the stables if one of his horses was hurt or unwell. He’d had dogs as a boy and had always taken them everywhere, and even when they were old, he’d carried them in and out of rooms and carriages if he thought they needed the help. She’d seen his devastation when each of them finally went to sleep for the last time, and knew he was capable of great compassion and kindness. A wife, however, was a different kettle of fish, and she did not trust him quite far enough to give him her heart entirely. He had too much of it already, more than was comfortable. She’d be a fool to hand him the rest.

As they walked, people stopped and exclaimed at the sight of Leo and Vi and the large black and brown cat trotting beside them. People they knew greeted them, and Mau too, as they meandered along the paths.

“Mau!”

Vi turned to look and saw a girl running towards Mau, skirts and plaits flying as she flew towards him. For a moment Mau froze, bristling all over like a bottle brush, but then the girl drew closer, and he trotted happily to meet her.

“Good afternoon, Miss Tilly,” Leo said, grinning at the child as she tried and failed to hoist Mau into her arms. The poor cat sent Leo a plaintive look but endured patiently. “He’s too heavy for that, I’m afraid.”

“Good afternoon, Cousin Leo,” Tilly said, giving up on picking the cat up and falling to her knees on the dusty path to hug him instead.

“Tilly, don’t sit in the dirt!” remonstrated a female voice.

Vi looked around to see her governess, Mrs Harris, hurrying after her charge. Behind her strolled the Marquess and Marchioness of Montagu.

“Afternoon, Auntie,” Leo said, raising his hat to Lady Montagu. “My lord,” he added deferentially to Montagu.

“Leo, Violetta, how lovely to see you both. I see you are enjoying the lovely sunshine as we are,” his Aunt Matilda said, smiling at them.

“We could be enjoying it even better at Dern,” Montagu murmured dryly, earning himself a look from his wife.