Page 67 of Lost and Bound

I visualize myself kicking Emrys in the balls and feel better for it, while also searching through my limited memory bank of languages I’ve learned about since arriving at Thales. Limited knowledge is an understatement, but it’s also where the answer lies. Magik is tied back to origin, and Ballin is too staid in patriarchal traditions to be using anything but some form of Latin.

“Ancient Latin,” I whisper through my tight smile. If Emrys wasn’t sitting opposite me, I doubt he would have caught my response.

“What year?”

“Seriously, Emrys, stop shifting the goalposts. I’m getting a headache.”

“You need to get used to how things operate in Quin-state, Maya. No one will stop coming for you, even once you’ve done what they’ve asked you to do.”

He grins, one of his eyebrows curling up as he waits. His magik moves around him similarly, and I again visualize physically harming him as a coping strategy.

“I have no clue,” I hiss back while scouring my memories of Mom. I know it’s way back in history, but I don’t know for sure when. A random time period pops into my thoughts, and I say it before overthinking. “Sixth or seventh century. Maybe eighth even.”

“Look at you, new girl, full of surprises again.”

I grind my teeth as a way of not losing my practiced expression while I keep looking straight ahead as Ballin keeps speaking his curse.

“A lot of magik has to do with intention.”

I risk another look at Emrys, and he laughs, which means he caught the tail end of my frustration. Then he fuels it further when he sets up his laptop alongside mine.

“It’s true. But I also want you to remember the rule of three. Start with, Ego sum nisi speculum, which sends his incantation and intention back to him threefold. Get ready, though, because he will not like you trying to do that.”

I repeat the words over and over, “Ego sum nisi speculum”. Using my basic grasp of ancient Latin, it translates to, I am a mirror, or I reflect. It’s less than a handful of seconds before the pressure coming at me intensifies. Emrys disappears from view, and I worry it’s a sign Ballin’s getting the upper hand and I’m about to suffer another humiliation. On screen, I see Magikster Ballin’s eyes shift infinitesimally before the frame around his screen shifts black, signifying he’s paused the video.

“Sorry to interrupt, Magikster. I’ve been asked to take over the class so you can attend a faculty meeting.” Emrys’ eyes stay on his screen, right where the camera would be, and I realize he’s the person who interrupted the Magikster.

“You’re not to mess around, Emrys. I have a curriculum to work through. I’ll email you the content I want covered while I’m gone. And since you’ve so generously offered your assistance, you can grade the assignment I have scheduled.”

Emrys’s expression is so different from what I’ve come to expect from him that it’s like looking at a different person. It’s a bit freaky, honestly, until I remember I do the same thing. I don’t bother looking back at the screen; instead I watch Emrys in person, and in doing so, I see him change again, becoming our pseudo teacher in Magikster Ballin’s absence.

He’s still holding part of himself back, but he also wears a confidence that suits him. “Okay, if everyone can settle down for a minute.”

His purple aura pulses, increasing in vibrancy, making me look harder at him; he enjoys teaching, or perhaps it’s being the focal point. It’s hard not trusting others; it makes it hard to understand what makes them tick. Still, I’d take Emrys over Ballin any day of the week.

“In the comments, I’m sharing a link for the task you need to work on. It’s due midnight tonight, and before you start grumbling, I’m going to let you break off into pairs and spend the lesson working together on the assignment.”

I turn my attention back to the screen, watching as students download the document before they find someone to work with. I didn’t expect anyone to reach out. Still, when no one does, it unlocks an ache inside my chest. I hit the download link and am reading through the task when a notification dings on my laptop. I take a breath to ready myself for the inevitable taunting, but when I look up to see who sent the request, my eyes jump from the screen to Emrys.

“Come on, new girl, don’t leave me hanging.”

My cursor hovers until I remember Emrys can be as cruel as the others.

“I’ll work by myself, as I’m sure you’ve got other things to do,” I mumble, leaving his chat request unanswered while I click on the assignment. Though I barely get through the first few lines before he jabs against my shield, not stopping until I look up.

“Yeah?”

He smirks, and it’s devastating. One smile, and he makes me second-guess whether what he’s said and done has been as hurtful as I first thought.

“I’m sorry.”

Something in my chest twists, reminiscent of heartburn. I know I shouldn’t think he’s suddenly discovered sincerity, as much as I hope he has. “What are you apologizing for?”

“Accusing you of being a spy.”

“And what about all the other times you were an ass? Or do they not warrant an apology?”

He looks constipated as he considers my question, leaving me feeling slightly guilty for calling him out. He might be deep in contemplation, but his aura has a mind of its own. Seeing Emrys like this clearly impacts me, because when his aura reaches out, it doesn’t feel like an intrusive jab; it feels like a gentle touch.