Page 22 of Rescuing Erin

“I didn’t set out to be special forces. I’d finished my first contract and decided to re-up, at the time recruitment numbers were down, and the military was trying to retain as many soldiers as they could, giving me the opportunity to write my own ticket, so to speak. I wanted to go to a special school, the Army wanted me to stay, so they sent me. I showed up in Fort Bragg for a ten-day assessment and selection course for Psychological Operations. Before I could start, a first sergeant I knew pulled me aside and asked me to go through the Special Operations Preparation Course. It was also held at Fort Bragg. He promised if I didn’t pass SOPC he’d get me back into the PSYOP pipeline. After a few beers he convinced me.”

“Wow. And just like that you became a Green Beret.”

“Not exactly, just like that. I still had to go through about twenty months of training. But, yes, over beers First Serg Jenner convinced me my talents would better serve the Army as a Special Forces Soldier.”

“That’s incredible.”

“I don’t know about that. But it’s a little different than most people’s stories. I certainly didn’t set out to go SF.”

It felt a little weird talking to Erin about how I become a Green Beret. It wasn’t that I was self-conscious, but it certainly didn’t make me sound like a badass who’d dreamt all his life about kicking in doors and killing bad guys. Though ridding the world of scumbags was certainly one of the perks of being a Green Beret.

“Your parents must’ve been proud.”

“Actually, they weren’t happy. My dad, while proud at what I’d accomplished, was scared for me. He knew what was going on in the world, and what my new job entailed. My mom was pissed. You see, she comes from a big family, and my sister had already told her she didn’t want children. That left me to provide her with the twenty grandchildren she imagined she’d have. Being frequently deployed, she knew her dreams of having grandchildren anytime in the near future was gone. There was no time for holiday visits, let alone dating or finding someone to spend my life with.”

By the time I was done speaking, I couldn’t believe I’d admitted all of that to Erin. I normally didn’t share anything that could be categorized as touchy-feely shit. I didn’t talk about my family or my mom wanting grandkids. Fuck, talking about kids with a woman was the kiss of death. Not that I’d ever been the one to bring them up, but if the woman I was on a date with did—I bailed. Quick, fast, and in a hurry.

“She wants twenty grandchildren?”

I could feel Erin’s smile through her words, and, for some unknown reason, it made me ridiculously happy she could relax enough in my arms to smile. Her trust in me to keep her safe after everything that had happened today was a powerful feeling.

“She wants as many as I can provide. My parents wanted more kids but after me, my mom had to have a hysterectomy. She’s been waiting thirty-two years for a baby to bless her house again.”

“I always wished I had a sister,” she mused.

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“Huh?”

Smooth, asshole, real smooth.

“You don’t date.”

Like that statement was any better than my previous lame question. When the hell had my balls shriveled up? Boyfriends? What in the hell was wrong with me?

“Because I’ve learned most men don’t have any interest in me. They have their sights set on my father. And the ones who actually do want to get to know me get fed up with the background checks and secret service agents always lurking around.”

“It sounds to me like you haven’t found the right kind of guy.”

“Sadly, that’s not true. It’s kinda hard for a man to get to know me, let alone give me a goodnight kiss when an armed guard is always within touching distance. I’m not worth that much trouble.”

Before I fully understood what I was doing, I had Erin on her back and I was looming over her. Her shocked eyes looked up at me, but it wasn’t fear I saw, it was excitement. The same excitement I felt. The same need I’d long ago shoved deep in a box and locked it away. The desire to have someone see me, the real me, and still find me worth the effort was something I never thought I’d have. So, instead of dwelling on it, I moved on. Convincing myself I didn’t need anyone in my life.

“You are worth it. And any man who is worth your time would know it. They’d appreciate you were protected and see the necessity of it. They’d also move heaven and earth to get to know you better. They’d walk through fire if it meant they’d have the honor of kissing you goodnight.”

“Is that what you’d do for your woman? Walk through fire to kiss her?”

“Damn right, I would. The day I find the woman I’m going to spend my life with, there’s not a goddamn thing anyone could do to keep me from her.”

“Then she’ll be a lucky woman.”

Staring down at Erin I realized the truth behind my words. I’d never seriously thought about finding a wife or settling down. Not while I had a dangerous job. But having Erin under me gave me pause. She felt right, the missing piece.

“Will you kiss me?” she whispered. Her voice was soft and unsure.

Maybe it was curiosity that had my mouth lowering to hers. Maybe I needed to know if the spark I’d felt the first time she’d kissed me was real, or if I only imagined how good she tasted. Her tongue brushed mine, and, in that split second, I had the confirmation I was after. I hadn’t imagined anything, though I’d remembered incorrectly—she wasn’t good, she was downright awe-inspiring. Erin’s head lifted, eager to deepen the kiss, and I was too far gone from a simple swipe to stop her.

I held my body still, forcing every muscle not to grind into her like I wanted. She, however, wasn’t motionless. Erin’s hands roamed, bunching up my shirt so she could reach the bare skin on my back. The leg that wasn’t pinned under me, wrapped around my waist, and she tried her best to rock into me. I was so enthralled with her kiss I’d forgotten all the reasons I’d thought it was a bad idea. The harder she pushed herself against me, the more friction there was on my cock. It was absurd the amount of willpower it was taking not to come in my pants.