Page 73 of The Wilder Widows

Marge snickered from beneath her sleeping bag. “I told you not to share a tent with me.”

“I didn’t share a tent with you. You’re the one who crawled in here with us last night,” Alice grumbled.

“I thought I heard a bear. Figured you ladies would need someone to protect you.”

“Well, it’s morning, and we’re all alive. The only thing we need protecting from right now is you. If you don’t get your stinky ass out of here, we won’t be alive for long. Now go!”

Laughing from beneath my sleeping bag, I listened to Alice smack Marge with the pillow. “I slept like a log last night.” With a big yawn, I stretched my arms as I emerged from my cocoon. “All that riding really wiped me out.”

“My ass hurts.” Marge mirrored my yawn.

“I bet it does.” Alice laughed, waving a hand in front of her face.

“I meant from the riding.”

I sat up and groaned. “Are you two starting up this early? I haven’t even had my coffee yet.”

“Oh, coffee. That sounds amazing.” Alice stood and stretched.

We dressed quickly and stepped outside, passing by Doris’s tent as we walked to the food tent.

“Where’s Doris?” Marge asked, stiffening while she lifted the flap to find it vacant. “Where the hell is Doris?”

“I’m sure she’s fine. Probably beat us to the coffee.”

“No. She wasn’t there when I checked before bed last night, and her sleeping bag is still rolled up. She didn’t sleep in there.” Marge stood, her military background snapping to the forefront. “Split up, soldiers. We’ve got a man down.”

“I’m sure she’s—”

“Good morning!” Doris sing-songed and we spun to see her standing behind the fire, pushing bacon around on the cast-iron skillet. “I hope you all worked up an appetite. Madeline let me do the cooking this morning. I’m so excited. It’s been ages since I’ve gotten to cook for a group of people! We’ve got bacon, eggs, and I made hash browns from the leftover potatoes last night. Come on up and grab a plate!”

“See, a bear didn’t snatch her up. She’s doing what Doris does best. Taking care of people.” I smiled and headed toward her.

“Isn’t it a beautiful day?” Doris sighed when I got to her. “The most beautiful day in the history of days.” With a languid smile, she broke into a hum while she flipped an egg sizzling in bacon grease.

A quizzical look passed between Alice, Marge, and I, and then recognition lit up our faces.

“Doris, you dog, you,” Alice said, leaning in. “Did you?”

A pink hue rose across her cheeks. “Did I what?”

“You know what.” Marge pushed. “Have a hootie.”

“Stop!” Doris lowered her voice, waving at us with her free hand.

“You trollop!” Alice laughed. “You did!”

Stiffening her chin, Doris fixated her gaze on the bacon. “A lady never tells.”

“You did!” Marge howled. “You did, didn’t you?”

Struggling to keep my mouth shut, I stared at Doris as she tittered while flipping another egg. Finally, she looked up and peeked over her shoulder each way before leaning in. “I did. I had a hootie.” Her voice dissolved into giggles.

“Whoo hoo!” Marge whooped, pumping her fist into the air.

“Get out!” I laughed, struggling to keep my voice down.

“Shhh!” she shooshed us. “Don’t let anyone hear you.”