Page 21 of Love Lessons

Ideas slipped through his mind and then away. He wanted Landon unsettled for him. He just wasn’t sure why yet. Was this thrilling, squirmy, protective feeling what D/s was actually about?

And if so, could he have more of it?

You’re gorgeous, he finally responded.

Landon acted as though he’d expected that answer. But his arms were looser now, his shoulders more relaxed. Dustin thought he could become addicted to that effect.

Dustin, of course, was still sitting rigidly in his chair. He found it difficult to relax in general, and definitely not in new or difficult situations. He’d been told that he looked stern and closed off. Threatening, even. His exes had said that it took a while to see beyond it. But he was pretty sure that Landon appreciated it.

He still wasn’t sure what to do, though. Sitting in the living room felt awkward instead of sexy, even with Landon practically naked and draping himself over the couch. Maybe especially because of that.

Dustin looked around. He was surprised by how warm and welcoming the space was. The walls were a soft yellow and there were picture frames holding dried flowers between two panes of glass. A bookshelf held a diverse collection of books--everything from science fiction to best sellers, as well as a full shelf of non-fiction and another of classic comic books in their plastic sleeves. In between the books nestled carved or lacquered wooden boxes interspersed with succulents in glazed ceramic pots.

The open-plan living room extended into the kitchen, which was clean and organized, but with a colorful clutter of spices and cookbooks. Fresh fruit sat on the counter, with more in a basket hanging overhead.

Dustin realized that he’d been expecting a bit of a bachelor pad--books in milk crates or a desk made out of an old door stacked on top of some cinder blocks. Maybe a ratty couch that had been rescued from a dumpster and spruced up with a slightly stained old sheet. Being in Landon’s space now, he realized that he’d misjudged him, or at least partially.

He was a mature adult with a solid job and a beautiful home. That just wasn’t the vibe that he gave off at the munch. Or, honestly, right now. There was clearly a lot more to him than sex, and Dustin couldn’t figure out why he presented himself this way.

Was it self-empowerment, going for what he wanted? Or was he hiding himself behind nameless encounters?

You like to cook? Dustin finally asked.

Landon laughed nervously, a rough, rasping sound of someone who couldn’t hear himself. That’s what you want to talk about right now? He gestured down at all of the lovely golden skin that he’d put on display.

Yeah, I do. Dustin wasn’t making small talk. He was genuinely curious. What’s your favorite thing to make?

Landon sat up a bit. He shrugged. Usually I just make what’s quick and easy. Either something big like a stew or lasagna that will give me days of leftovers, or a stir fry when I want something fresh for dinner. It’s not much fun cooking for one.

Dustin was starting to get the sense that Landon was more lonely than he wanted to admit. He wanted to know more, but he started with a compliment. That’s very responsible of you. I bet it’s delicious, too.

Landon gave him a shy smile. Had no one complimented him on anything but his body? What about his friends? Do you have friends over much?

I have parties every few months. I love having lots of people over, but it’s too much work to do more often.

I totally agree. Dustin hated large parties, though he could see how Landon would thrive on them. But parties weren’t friends. How about dinner parties? Maybe with a few people? Or movie nights with a friend or two?

Landon slowly shook his head, as though the thought had never occurred to him.

I like to cook with my friend Zhong, Dustin offered. He usually makes the dessert while I make dinner. My ex loved it when he would come over because we’d make all of these elaborate meals.

That sounds nice. Landon looked wistful.

I know you said you don’t want to date, but we could still make dinner together sometime.

Dustin couldn’t figure out all of the expressions on Landon’s face. He looked tense, but beyond that it was a mystery. Maybe he’d been pushing too hard. He was just about to withdraw the offer when Landon replied.

Yeah, I’d like that.

Good. Maybe next weekend or something.

Landon nodded but didn’t commit. And that seemed to be the end of the conversation.

Dustin looked around the room again, knowing that he was stalling but not quite sure how to move things along. I see you like comic books.

To his surprise, Landon looked embarrassed. When he’d asked about cooking it had felt like awkward small talk, but this looked like something much more personal.

Dustin had just been looking for a topic of conversation but now he was intrigued. What’s your favorite? He hadn’t read many comic books since high school, but anyone who kept so many comic books in such good condition had to be a serious collector.