Page 6 of Love Lessons

He watched her winding her way through the club, mostly in shock, until she slunk up to another Dom that Landon would have wanted to scene with, talked for a minute, and then crawled into his lap.

Did the universe just hate him today?

At last, he spotted Master Hiroto, who waved him over when he saw him looking. Thank fuck.

Master Hiroto was talented and often asked to do demos. If anyone could handle him tonight, Master Hiroto could.

“What do you need, boy?”

That was another great thing about Master Hiroto. He didn’t like to talk much, which meant that Landon didn’t have to stress himself out speech reading.

“Anything. Just a scene. My limits haven’t changed.”

“Follow me.”

It took a while to find a space. The private rooms were booked and the public room, with its two circles drawn on the floor like stages, was already in use with another couple waiting. Landon could have handled something less elaborate, maybe in a corner somewhere in the group room, but Master Hiroto liked to plan, and liked an audience even more.

Maybe he should have chosen someone else? Though there hadn’t been much choice tonight. Really, he was kind of getting tired of everyone here. Not as people. He still liked people. But submitting wasn’t as much fun as it had been when he’d discovered it almost a decade ago.

When he came to the club, he spent as much time dispensing advice as he did playing. Not that it was a bad thing. He loved mentoring new subs, and sometimes new Doms. This was his community, and he appreciated how kinksters tended to take care of each other.

But the whole thing was starting to feel exhausting sometimes. Or maybe he was just getting old.

Master Hiroto roughly grabbed his chin. Which, honestly, still put a shiver down his spine, even if it kind of annoyed him that Master Hiroto was doing it before they’d officially called a scene.

“Are you paying attention, boy?”

He blew out his breath, which was not appreciated. Sometimes he just wanted to snap back a little, but he knew it wasn’t what would please his temporary Dom. He pretty much had the profile down for every regular Dom in the place, and this one liked quiet and good. “I’m sorry, Master Hiroto.”

“You are not sorry yet, but soon you will be. Stand in the center of the circle.”

Oh, right. So it looked like the scene had started. It just felt so fake, though. He was going to be punished for “not paying attention.” Which was fine. Whatever.

When the soft tails of the flogger started to give way to heavier thumps, and then the bright flashes of the crop, he finally felt himself let go a little bit.

It was a relief. Better. When the crop got harsher, biting into his more sensitive calves and ribs, he felt the tears streaming down his cheeks and chased the oblivion of subspace that was just out of reach.

It was painful and glorious and necessary, and he hated and wanted it… and then he was floating. Empty and floating and just where he needed to be, as the pain tipped into pleasure tipped into nothingness.

Unfortunately, it only lasted for a couple of minutes, if that. It left him feeling staticky and frenetic, though. His nerves jangled like little static charges were zipping through him.

He needed to run, to move, to go. To let out everything that had built up out into the universe instead of absorbing it back inside. It wasn’t a bad feeling, just the disconnected not-end of a scene that he would need to finish on his own.

But he dutifully sat through ten or fifteen minutes of aftercare after pushing off the too-soft, too-warm blankets. He drank a bottle of water, and at least that felt good.

Master Hiroto knelt beside him and gripped his chin. Thank God he wasn’t sitting on his lap or anything. “Landon.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“If you want something else, you only have to tell me. Or tell the right Dom.”

“I’m not sure what you mean, Sir. This is just how I get after scenes sometimes.” Most of the time, now, actually.

“No,” he looked a little sad. “You let people dominate you. You let them hurt you. But you don’t submit.”

Landon gave him a skeptical look. If he let people dominate him and hurt him, what the hell else was there?

“Just think about it. And remember that you deserve to have what you need.”