Page 197 of Interion

“What do I have to do to make you understand, once and for all, that I’m in love with you?”

She stopped fighting, her eyes widening at the declaration. Zion seized the moment to pour out everything he felt before he lost his nerve.

“That I’m desperate for the deal to end so I can finally feel free enough to get closer to you, to know you better. Don’t you understand that every time I get closer, every time I discover something new about you, I get closer to breaking that promise and condemning us both? You have no idea how hard I fight every second to keep myself from touching you. To smother the pain of not being free to have a life with you!”

“You say one thing and do another!” she shouted, but her voice held fury and hurt, not the desperation and fear in his. “You never treated me like I mattered. You never did anything that made me feel like your choice! You never showed love, or concern, or anything like it. Do you even know what being in love means to say something like that?”

He swallowed hard.

“I know what I feel—that doesn’t mean I know how to act on it. I wasn’t raised with love as a priority. I don’t know how to say or do the right thing. I don’t know what it’s like to be in a loving relationship, Kyller. I don’t know what I should say, but I’m willing to learn.” He leaned closer to her face, released one of her hands, and placed his own on her cheek. “Teach me, Kyller. I’ll do whatever it takes to learn. Tell me what you want, and it’s yours. You just have to tell me.”

He held her gaze until her expression seemed to clear for a moment. She seemed hypnotized by his ocean eyes. Zion was so confused by the whirlwind of feelings that he couldn’t tell which were his and which came from her. He’d never felt so cornered and unprepared in his life—except for the day he’d found her. And here he was, fighting again.

Her hand seemed to relax for the first time where it gripped his arm, and he sighed with anxious relief at her understanding. His eyes drifted unhappily to Kyller’s full, inviting mouth. With his barriers down, he felt a powerful wave of emotion wash over them both. For the first time in his life, he could admit to being terrified—and that terror came from the thought of losing this woman.

Zion couldn’t wrap his mind around it—he was so close. She was his partner. He couldn’t stop thinking about it, couldn’t stop feeling drawn to her. An unfamiliar urgency seized him, and he knew the bond was exacting its price for all the distance he’d kept. He was so close he breathed the same air leaving her lungs. His blood ran hot as he stared at those pink lips just inches from his own. Before Zion could think, need overtook him, and he didn’t even notice when he pressed his lips to hers.

He barely had time to taste the sweetness of the kiss before a sharp, piercing pain shot through him from her bite.

His eyes went wide with shock.

He pulled back from her, stumbling two steps away. Blood stained Kyller’s mouth. A low growl rumbled from her throat, and fury blazed in her eyes. He raised a hand to his own mouth, feeling the tender spot and the sticky wetness he knew was blood. The iron scent filled his nostrils.

He pressed the wound and stared at her in disbelief. He watched the fury in her eyes give way to sadness as a tear rolled down her cheek. Inside him, hurt and contempt swelled at the offensive act Kyller had just committed.

She had bitten him.

And she’d bitten him after he’d opened what little remained of his tattered heart, something he’d never done in his life.

Kyller seemed to realize what she’d done and stepped toward Zion, hand extended. He moved out of her reach, pulling his hand away from his wounded lip. She shook her head, and Zion could feel his heart pounding in his chest.

“I just want... I was just going to heal...”

Without a word, he stepped back, silencing her.

“Zion...” she called, but he ignored her and vanished into the shadows.

Chapter 50

I woke up the next day with the worst migraine imaginable. The throbbing kind, accompanied by swollen eyes from crying and deep circles under them. At some point the day before, I'd cried myself to sleep.

I avoided thinking about the colossal mess I'd made the day before—something I regretted the instant it happened. I'd been in such an overwhelming frenzy of hurt, confusion, and fury that I only realized what I'd done when he pulled back in shock. I'd committed one of the worst offenses among fae.

A bite.

My first impulse was to try to heal him, yet the anger hadn't gone away. I hadn't actually wanted to bite him, despite being hurt and feeling everything so intensely—as if I could drown in it all. I'd crossed a line, just as he had crossed one with me, even if unintentionally.

When Zion walked out the day before, every piece of me had shattered on the floor, and I couldn't pick them up. I wanted to disappear, vanish, and pretend it had all been a nightmare.

But it was real, and now I was painfully lucid and awake enough to know it.

As if that weren't enough, it was Serguei's birthday. I rolled over, grumbling under the covers. I didn't want to deal with him and Zion at the same time, but there was no escaping it. One day, while shopping in the human district, a pastor had been preaching about angels and demons on the sidewalk outside the stores. He'd said:

“You can't run away after making a deal with the devil, but you can avoid making one so you don't have to run.”

Wise advice. That I hadn't listened to. I stayed in bed thinking about the day before, but the feelings tangled in my chest, making my head spin. I was sad about Zion's lie and being shut out by the hospital, but there was also guilt, hurt, and frustration over everything that had happened. The feelings consumed me from the inside out, battling to see which would prevail.

I wished Zion would stay away after lying about Kaori, but thinking about how he must be feeling after the bite—not understanding it had been a reflex—made me want to go out and find him. I pulled the covers over my face, as if I could hide my shame and hurt from the world.