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Ilooked out the small window at the sea of fluffy clouds beneath me. They were tinged pink from the early morning light.

At the exact moment I took a steadying breath, the plane shook violently. I gripped the armrests tighter than I was already holding them. Nathan chuckled beside me.

“This isn’t funny,” I said through gritted teeth.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Nathan said. “You never told me you were a nervous flyer.”

“I didn’t know I was.”

The plane shook again, and I whimpered.

“How did you not know— oh!”

The realization that this was my first time on a plane washed over Nathan’s expression. His amusement turned to sympathy, and I think I hated that more.

“You and Don never?”

“We drove for vacations. He didn’t like to waste money on frivolous things.”

“I see.”

“He also worked a lot, and apparently, when he wasn’t working, he was sleeping with other women.”

“He was sleeping with more than the one he got pregnant with?”

“Well, I don’t know,” I said sheepishly.

The plane shook again.

That’s it! I can’t do this!

I unbuckled my seatbelt, unsure where to go since I couldn’t just leave the plane. I stepped over Nathan and rushed to the back of the plane. Thankfully, a bathrooms was open, and I locked myself in, leaning against the sink. I closed my eyes as tight as I could.

“Maple, birch, pine.” I started naming trees, a trick Lianne taught me when I got anxious before exams in college.

A knock on the door startled me.

“Isla?”

It was Nathan.

I opened the door lightly and hissed, “Nathan, what are you doing? This is a single occupancy bathroom.”

Nathan looked up the aisle, then quickly pushed himself into the small space.

“What the hell?” I demanded as I fell back on the small toilet. “We can’t both be in here.”

“Says who?”

“The aviation— Gods!”

“You think there is a deity solely responsible for airplanes?”

“I– don’t have time to talk philosophy and religion with you. I need to figure out how I’m going to get the hell off this plane because I will not last the five plus hours we will be here.”

The plane rattled again, and a tear I’d held back slipped. I closed my eyes and hugged myself. I wanted to go home.

I felt a warm finger wipe the tear away. I opened my eyes to see Nathan crouched in front of me.