Page 49 of Crowned In Sin

“I want them both,” I tell her with my voice breaking. The truth of my confession shatters any semblance of composure. Speaking this admission to Isabel makes it even more real than speaking it to my father. Even then, it had still been somewhat of a secret. Not anymore. “I want to choose them both, but I do not know how that is possible. I do not know how it could be done, even if they wished to—to reconcile.”

Two servants enter the room. Isabel and I rise from the table and go to stand near the fire. The servants clear away the dishes with hardly a clink of porcelain to disturb us, and then they leave again.

“Cora,” Isabel begins, but the door opens once more. We both turn toward it, expecting the servants to be collecting some forgotten dish, but it is my father.

We both drop into a curtsey, Isabel’s deeper than mine. My father crosses to us.

“Isabel,” he says, greeting her before he turns his eyes to mine. “My daughter. I have spoken with Prince Jasper. I don’t think he’ll stay much longer. He seems to be at war, even with his own thoughts. You need to speak with him.”

“Now?” I question in a single breath.

“If not now, soon. If not…” He pauses. “My fear, my daughter, is that you will be left with a broken heart.”

Chapter 22

Cora

“I have a declaration to make,” I announce to the princes, who stand before me in a room not far from my chambers. I would not have minded speaking to them there, but this sitting room will give the appearance of propriety, though I do not have a chaperone. If everything goes as I wish it to, then this will not matter once I am married. “But my father tells me you have not reconciled.”

Tension suffocates the room. Neither man will look at the other. None of us sit. Instead we stand in front of shelves of ancient books and with the dim light from the candles and the moon rising, harsh shadows cast down on their faces. The scars Casen bears are more visible than I’ve ever seen them. And I only wish to cup his jaw, offer him a kiss and then kiss his brother. Tugging at the sleeve of my dress, I refuse the urge.

“Princess Cora,” Jasper begins. “We will respect whatever decisions you make, but I must apologize for the way⁠—”

“Have you reconciled?” I interrupt, too nervous to care if I’m being rude. “Or are you only saying you’ll respect my decision because you don’t wish to cause a scandal?”

Jasper clenches his jaw, just as my heart does at the sight of them. “We say that because we respect you, princess. Not for any other reason.”

“Very well.” I stand up taller in my spot by the window. “Because I also respect you and…feel for you both, I will apologize first. I should have told you both that I had seen another man within the hours of seeing each other. I do not believe it was wrong for me to find pleasure, but…I should have been more forthright.”

“Princess,” Jasper says and I stop him from continuing by raising my hand.

“But you have not been honest with me either.”

The princes exchange a glance, then look back at me.

“I’ve heard from my father,” I continue, “that there is another reason both of you are here.”

I look Jasper in the eye. His cheeks go red, but he does not flinch away.

“There is,” Jasper admits. “I meant to tell you in the garden, before—” At Jasper’s side, Casen shifts his weight. “It does not matter now. The truth, princess, is that I am not able to conceive children.”

Hearing the weight of agony in his tone breaks my heart. For the kingdoms to continue, heirs are required.

My father hinted as much during our brief conversation, but my stomach clenches with sorrow for Jasper. There is pain in his eyes as he speaks the words.

“It is important that I have an heir to carry my crown when I am gone,” he says. “The fate of my kingdom rests upon this. So we had discussed—we had thought it might be possible, with the right queen, to⁠—”

“You wanted me to have your brother’s child, instead of yours?”

Casen nods. Jasper does not say anything to correct him. My heart races. It is obviously a topic of such pain, but the idea of it is thrilling to me.

“Is it not unfair to expect that of your brother, to have a child the kingdom would not know was his own?” I ask Jasper softly. “And I think it is unfair to expect that of me, to bed another man without having feelings for him. Was that your intention?”

“Not entirely,” the prince speaks quickly. “We extend our sincere apologies to you, Princess,” says Jasper. “I extend them personally as well. We had not exactly known the manner in which⁠—”

I cut him off once again, my nerves rattling. “I accept your apology, and now I will tell you my wishes.”

Jasper nods to me. Both men straighten, as if they think I might deliver a blow with a sword.