Page 29 of GR8VITY

Giving Yoon Ji the wink In Se just gave me, I inform him, "There's nothing awkward about being honest."

He appears to block out the others, as he adds to his comment. "I like that you don't hide it like normal."

I laugh outright again. I can't help it. "It must be the westerner in me. My omma always said that we'd likely get weird looks here because of our accent. Her dialect was already slightly off with her not being from the city, but moving to America really didn't help with that, and I learned from her. Trust me, it's not the first time I've been called out for being different here."

"Hopefully, they were all as nice as Yoon Ji about it at least," Jae-un murmurs.

I nod, because they have been. Mostly.

"Do you have a favorite song of ours?" Seong Su suddenly asks, changing the subject.

I look to him as he speaks, but quickly shift my gaze to Kyung and then back again as I answer, "I actually haven't listened to any of your music."

Expressions of confusion and something else I can't place shifts around the table, but before anyone can comment, Kyung explains, "I asked her not to get into it."

Disappointment and hurt. That's what the other emotions are, because I can see it written plainly across Jae-un's face as he glares at Kyung. "Too ashamed of us?"

"That's not it at all, and you know it," Kyung snaps back gently. "I wanted her to get to know me without the idol. I didn't want the extra pressure if it wasn't necessary. It had nothing to do with not wanting her to know you or us. You know as well as I do how crazy things can get for people like us who are dating. Is it wrong of me to want to keep her out of that for as long as possible?"

"It's not wrong, Kyung," Seong Su replies in a quiet voice. "We can understand where you're coming from."

"Prove it," Jae-un challenges. "Lift your restraint and let her listen to our music."

Kyung sighs deeply at my side. "I was already planning on doing that, anyway."

I've been around this man every single day for months now. I know in my bones that the sigh isn't for the reasons others might think it is. He is disappointed in himself for letting the others around him down. I reach out and take his hand, drawing his attention to me. He smiles at me. I smile back at him. In that one exchange of expressions, we tell each other, it's going to be okay.

Tension settles down around the table as we finish eating and the questions resume. It carries on into the living room as some of us sit down around their small table and play cards. After a little while, Seong Su announces that he's going to bed since they have to be up early the next day.

"You don't have to walk me home tonight since you have to be up in the morning," I tell Kyung as we pack up the cards.

He nods a few times, seemingly as sad as I am at the prospect. "Fine, but I'm calling you a cab."

"You don't..." I start, but he cuts me off.

"I call you a cab or walk you home."

I concede and let him have his way, knowing this isn't a battle worth fighting. Especially when I know that he's serious and will absolutely lose that extra hour or more of sleep to walk me home.

Which is why I find myself standing outside with the car door open a little while later, giving Kyung a quick goodnight hug. I want to steal a kiss, too, but the conversation tonight has reminded me, yet again, that he's not just a man with a normal job. We have to be careful.

"Text me when you get home, yeah?" he asks, unwillingly letting me go and closing the door behind me.

I roll the window down to promise that I will and blow him a kiss before we're pulling away.

IN SE

Watching Kyung walk Lizzy out the door, I get this feeling that I can't explain in the pit of my stomach. It's not jealousy. I've felt that before, and this isn't it. I pick at my lips with my fingers as my knee starts to bounce as I wait on him to come back inside. A thought formed in my mind earlier, and I can't seem to let it go. Unfortunately, for my members, I'm the kind of person that once I set my mind to something, I've got to let it out onto the world, or it will drive me mad. I think it's almost driven them to the point of madness several times over the years. This one might be the one that pushes Kyung over the edge. And, he's really hard to upset.

"What's wrong?" Jae-un asks, taking the seat to my right and placing a hand on my bouncing knee.

"Nothing," I answer too quickly.

He cuts his eyes over to me and lifts one eyebrow, knowing me better than anyone in my life and knowing that I'm lying. The front door beeps as it opens and shuts. My knee stops bouncing, making Jae-un look at me again. Kyung comes around the corner with his head down and hands down in his pockets. He only walks like that when he's thinking about something. Well, I'm about to selfishly add to that.

I wait until he plops down in an un-idol fashion across from me on the other L-shape of the couch. "Are you sad that you don't get to walk her home or stay with her tonight?"

Our band has been together for years. We've always shared everything in our lives with each other, even if we didn't want to. Especially emotionally. We know each other pretty well, I think. If he didn't want me to ask questions, he would've just gone to his room. Which makes me think that either, he knows we're going to have them or he doesn't want to be alone. Maybe both.