Page 29 of Unfettered

“Of course.”

Casting one last look at Cristian, I can’t help but reach out and brush my fingers through his too-long hair. The length is unusual for him, and really shows the gray peppering the dark strands. Part of me aches at the thought of how much the stress of everything that’s happened has aged him.

Taking a deep breath, I stand, forcing myself to leave because otherwise, I know I won’t. I move over to Roman, and can see he’s fallen right back asleep on Ten, though he looks more content than before. Bending over, I press a quick kiss to his head.

At the door, I take a moment to turn and watch as Allesandro reaches out for Cristian, taking his hand. The love on the former Martelli Boss’s face is clear as day. And it’s like a punch to the gut as I watch the two of them.

I leave as quickly as I can, careful to not slam the door behind me. In the hall, I close my eyes and try to catch my breath. My heart breaking all over again.

I don’t regret my choices, but fuck, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to watch someone slide so easily into the place I occupied for so long. Is this what Cristian feels when he sees me with Keegan and Marcus? Fuck, it makes him stepping in front of Keegan and almost dying for him all the more emotional.

There’s a stark difference between knowing we’re both moving on, that we outgrew each other a long time ago, and finally seeing and understanding it.

Opening my eyes, I stumble away from the door, walking out of the medical wing in search of…something.

“Carter?” I turn at Keegan’s voice. “What’s wrong, Love?” He strides over to me and grabs my arms, holding me tightly.

I shake my head. “I…was politely encouraged to take a break and get some real sleep. Allesandro and Ten are with Roman and Cristian for now.”

“Okay. Good idea. I was going to drag you both out of there myself. Come on, I’ll walk you up.”

I shake my head. “I’m sure you have other important things to do⁠—”

“Hush. Nothing is more important than you. I was checking on a few things, since Jude is with his Boys, but everything else can wait. Let’s go. You’re dead on your feet, Love.”

I let him grip my wrist and pull me along gently. “I don’t want to worry Cole…”

“Marcus took him to play with the goats again, and the damn bunny.”

“The bunny?”

“Yeah. I guess Atticus lets Monroe bunnysit whenever he wants, or something. Anyway, don’t worry about Cole. He’s doing good today, but he misses you. He’ll be happy if you have dinner with us. After your nap, of course.”

I smile a little. “I miss him too. I miss all three of you. I’m sorry…”

Keegan turns to me, placing two fingers over my lips. “Shhh. It’s okay, Love. You don’t need to apologize. I know Cristian is important to you.” He grimaces. “I can’t say I like him, but I respect the place he has in your and Roman’s lives. And I’m…working on being okay with the fact he saved my life.”

I huff a little. “You don’t have to be his best friend, but I’m very grateful to know you’re still here with us. I…don’t know what I would do without you or Marcus. You’ve become my life.”

Keegan leans in and kisses me gently. “And you’re ours.”

He leads me into our suite and through to the bedroom, undressing me efficiently. He tries to bundle me into bed, but I don’t let him, holding onto him tightly.

“I got you, Love,” he whispers, hugging me closer.

Shuddering against him, I gasp, allowing the tears I’ve been holding back to finally fall. Keegan holds me through it all, letting me fall apart over another man and not saying a word aside from offering gentle, loving reassurance.

“What do you need, Love?” he finally asks when the onslaught dies down.

Pulling back, I meet those steel gray eyes of his, becoming breathless for a moment as he stares at me with nothing but understanding.

“S—Sir…” I swallow, the word almost sticking in my throat.

“I’m here.”

I shake my head, my body beginning to tremble.

“Shhh, I got you.” Keegan cups my face in his gentle hands, watching me carefully. “I’m here. Whatever you need.”