Page 76 of Rumor Has It

She crumples into the chair, her shoulders folding in on her. I fist my hands, wanting to scream. Again, I lash out, hurting her as bad as she’s hurt me, when all I want to do is hold her.

I need to tell her how much I still love her, to say, I never stopped. Her sobs are no more than a whimper, she’s done this more than once. Probably hiding it from Rumor, no doubt.

“I’m sorry, there’s nothing else I can say, Boone. I’m so sorry.” She weeps, the weight she’s carrying heavier than I ever imagined. And then, I unload all of my shit on her.

“Fuck!” I reach for her, but freeze. I want to kiss her and never stop. “I want to erase every damn memory of him. His touch, his scent, his lips, and I can’t do it. I can’t remove him from you.”

Her eyes flicker to mine, swimming in pain and regret. “You already did, that’s why I came back to you. It’s why I’m here.”

“I thought you wanted to find out who Rumor’s father is?” I furrow my brow.

“I do, we need to and as much as I’d love to say with all confidence she’s yours, the evidence doesn’t support it.” She attempts to dry her face. “They say she was born a little early, that tells them he’s her father but until we all have the test…”

“We have no idea, and definitely no proof.” I shake my head in disbelief. “So, you came back for him, as much as you did for me?”

She drops her head. “She needs to know, Boone. We came back to find out for her, I came back for you.”

“Do you still love him, Mackenzie?” The anger I’ve held at bay for ten years, brims to the surface. “I need to know, I don’t want to know, but I need to.”

Her mouth smashes into a thin line, and for the first time since we argued, I see that she’s angry to. “You know what, I’ve told you every truth I have. I haven’t lied, ever, to you. You know I love you, I’ve never loved another man, the way I have loved you. But I’ll be damned, if I live a life filled with doubt over a mistake I made when I was seventeen.”

“Two.” I smirk. “You made two mistakes.” And there it is, the line I crossed that didn’t need to be. She’s wrecked, and by my hand.

“Yeah, you’re right. Again.” Her words no more than a murmur. “I suppose you’re not the only one either. They said I’d never be enough, and I’m not. I’m actually not good enough.” She leaps from her chair, darting to her bedroom, leaving me standing here in the ashes.

I fist my hair, angry I allowed him to come between us again. After all of this time, I’m still chasing demons. While Mackenzie is chasing the truth. I’m not sure which one of us is in for more hurt.

I turn to her room, but stop just as I hear her sobbing. It’s not fair of me to make her cry, and try to comfort her. It’s as though I’m punishing her, and that’s not me. I’d never hurt her on purpose.

My stomach falls when I’m hit right between the eyes with that one. “But you just did, you made her pay for hurting you.” I whirl around, storming to the door and running out.