Page 78 of Rumor Has It

“I wouldn’t let him in until your daddy said so, baby.” My grandpa kisses my temple.

“Thanks, Grandpa.” My eyes dart ton dads and he shrugs.

“Talk.” He nods at Boone. “Seriously, talk to each other. If y’all ain’t love, I don’t know what is.”

I wave as he follows my grandpa out the door. I begin to sweat, and feel dizzy. I reach for the wall, but find Boone instead. “Damn it, Kenzie. Is this what you do every time we argue? You could’ve lost Rumor like this, ya know.”

I yank my hand from his, following the wall until I can sit down. “How in the hell did you know about that?”

“Just a rumor.” He half shrugs, and I have a feeling I have a snitch in my midst.

“I see,” I grit my teeth. “You can avoid telling the truth and that’s alright, but I’m not allowed to be honest.”

He sits across from me, wearing my favorite damn smile. “No, I was incredibly unfair the other night. But that doesn’t mean you get to go on a hunger strike. What the hell?”

“I have a lot on my plate right now, Boone. Why don’t you tell me what you want?” I shift in my seat, fighting off a wave of nausea.

He releases a heavy sigh. “I don’t want to be angry, I also don’t want to forget about how much we’ve lost. But sitting here, next to you, breathing you in and watching you as you fidget from nervous energy, I can’t help from being drawn to you. We’ve always had this deep seeded need to be with each other, and it hasn’t changed.”

I gaze at him, and I can see it in his eyes before I utter a word. “I was so in love with you, Boone. Once I made one bad choice, it all went bad, and I continued to spiral out of control. I questioned if you ever loved me, if we were meant to be or was it in my head; did you use me or say those terrible things.

“I slept with Reed for all the wrong reasons. I even tried to convince myself it would help me get over you. Because by god, if you didn’t love me, I wasn’t gonna love you. And no other love would ever compare. I even questioned at one point if the blonde on my head was from peroxide and was eating my brain away.” I bite and release my lip.

“I’ve hated myself, every day. Even sitting here now, telling you these things guts me, knowing how I hurt you. I couldn’t let you stay, Boone. Not if she doesn’t belong to you. The thought of you ever resenting me or her consumed me so much so, I had to stop you from staying. It wrecked me to imagine you watching her grow up, only to look like him and what that would do to all of us.” My body quakes with every word.

“I wanted to stay. I wanted to be with you both, and I would’ve moved hell to do so.” He taps my hand when I turn my face from him. “I didn’t lie to you then, and I won’t now. I want to be here for both of you. That doesn’t mean we have to be together, but I want you to know, I’m here.”

“As are we, I want… We need to find out who her father is, and the quickest way is a test. I hate to ask you, but it’s past time. You both deserve to know, so you can build a relationship. Boone, I have to do this. I pray you won’t hate me.”

“Never, Mackenzie.” He smiles when he grips my hand.

My eyes dart to the floor, and my stomach falls. “I pushed you away, and for good reason. I wanted you to live a fulfilling life, the one you had planned for growing up. The life you had dreamed of all this time. I harbored so much hope in my heart that she was yours, that when my head told me there was no way, I ran. Facing you with the truth was worse than being the town whore. I left because everything in me screamed for her to be yours, but I don’t know how she could be.

“I’m so sorry. I despise myself more than you could ever know. I lost the love of my life because I was an idiot. I did break us—I did this to us. When you said those words yesterday, it crushed me. Hearing it out loud in that way, from you, opened so many old wounds I couldn’t face you another minute.” He watches as I fall apart. My words cut deeper than his ever could. I blame myself as much as he does.

He pulls me into his arms, holding me close. “I know, Kenzie. I never wanted you to hurt this way. I only wanted to help shoulder it for you. I thought I loved you enough for the both of us. I didn’t have an inkling of what that would entail.”

“You shouldn’t, not when I betrayed you.” I sob, allowing years of regret and pain go.

He lifts my chin to catch his gaze. “You didn’t betray me. We weren’t together. I was hurt, but still very much in love with you, and I would’ve done anything for you. All I ever wanted was to be a part of your world, no matter what that was.”

“You shouldn’t have been. I’m not worthy of your love.” My pulse races, mimicking his heart.

“Don’t you ever say that. You’re everything. You’ve always been exactly what I want, and you always will be. I know I’ve been angry, still am for what it’s worth. But as I sit here right now, I know there will never be another Mackenzie. I think it’s why I was so hurt when you left. I knew I’d never be the same until I had you again.”

“I’ll never be able to make it up to you, Boone.” My eyes are swimming with emotion, as are his.

“Yes you will, in time.” He searches my face, watching as disbelief, hurt, loathing, and even love plays a game with me. He’s not sure what’s real and what isn’t. I’m not all together positive myself.

I chew my lip, turning it crimson as drives me insane with need. I’ve waited to be this close to him, needed to be near him for so long now, and the desire for him to hold me is palpable.

“From the bottom of my heart, I pray I can, Boone. I want nothing more than to show you what you’ve always meant to me. To help you understand what I did and not hate me for it. I need you to forgive me. Maybe not now, tomorrow, or even next year, but at some point I need you to know how sorry I am for what I’ve done to you.” My face is wet with the onslaught of never-ending tears I can’t seem to stop.

Reaching over, he runs his finger under my eye and over my cheek helping to dry my face. “Kenzie, I’ve been angry for far too long to waste a minute with you ever again.”

“You should be livid for the rest of my natural life, Boone.” I swipe my nose with the back of my hand. “Actually, you should hate me, and I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

“Never, Kenzie. I couldn’t if I tried.” And there it is, the low rumble of my once dead heart, coming to life and reminding me just how much Boone’s ingrained into my heart and soul.