Page 71 of The Snowflake Effect

I hunch farther forward, shifting my weight from foot to foot, a bead of sweat gathering at the base of my spine. “Shay and Marina are so different.”

“And?”

“And things have been intense with Shay.” Like more-chemistry-than-a-NASA-lab intense. “But Shay’s all fire and banter where Marina was sweet-tempered and soft-spoken. They’re nothing alike, and Marina and I got together so young. Does that mean we’d have grown apart? That we weren’t what I thought we were?”

Crunching crackles in my ear, Sawyer likely inhaling a bag of chips. The sound reminds me of Shay. Like everything these days.

He stops eating long enough to say, “Don’t play that game, bro. Nothing good comes of it. What you and Marina had was golden. Untouchable. Nothing you do or don’t do will ever change that. So don’t fuck yourself over by messing things up with Shay because you’re overthinking things like a pre-teen girl. Live in the now.” He pauses, more crunching as I wait for him to continue with his motivational speech.

Apparently, he’s done.

I must sound like an ass, questioning what Marina and I had. Deep down, I know we were solid, minus our shitty phase, but everything about Shay has me twisted up. Especially the part about living for the moment.

“How’s work on your end?” I ask, veering to safer topics.

Sawyer’s heavy sigh isn’t the sound I want to hear. “I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but things aren’t pretty here. That shipment of zippers I ordered? I got the quantity mixed up, and it’s set us back. Two production staff also quit, and that guy you deal with on the jacket insulation? Howard something? He’s telling me they won’t have our order ready next month. Since you’ve got a lot to organize, I was trying to handle things, but I’m drowning.”

I can’t stifle my groan. Moondog is growing faster than we can handle, and it needs us both there to weather the storm. In time we’ll hire more people, but even then, if I’m not present, I can’t rummage through files to figure things out, can’t stop by our production floor to assess damage and delays. From a distance, everything takes longer, gets more complicated.

Our head office is in Vancouver, and that’s where I have to be. “Not sure what I was thinking,” I mutter.

“About what?”

“Shay—pursuing her as hard as I have. If things get more serious, I can’t relocate here. Not to mention, Marina’s mother would be crushed.”

Caroline called again this morning, and her voice cracked when she said goodbye to Jackson. I knew this trip would be hard on her, but I didn’t anticipate the constant phone calls. The worry. Jackson is their only link to their daughter.

Details I knew before wooing the heck out of Shay, but I still plowed ahead. “I am so fucked,” I mumble. “If things do get more serious, I’m not sure I can convince Shay to move. To pass up the job she’s gunning for.”

“So do the long-distance thing. Fly down for weekends.”

I tighten my grip on the phone. “Never again, Sawyer. I can’t do it again.”

“People do it all the time.”

“Have you forgotten what happened with Marina? What a disaster that was?”

“Sure, but—” He cuts off the line and comes back with “Give me a sec. There’s someone at the door.”

He can take as long as he wants. Time won’t change a damn thing. I know firsthand how badly long-distance relationships can go.

“Fine,” Sawyer says when he comes back on the line. “I won’t harp on the long-distance thing, even though you’re being a pussy about it, but there are always options, if you actually want to find a solution.”

“What does that mean?”

“You know what it means.”

Nope. I have zero clue what he means, but he and Stella love getting under my skin. “You’re irritating as hell.”

“And you love me for it. As far as Shay goes, figure out what would hold her back from moving and prove to her you’re worth it. Do that charming stuff you do. But back to work—we need to find a new supplier for our jacket insulation.”

The latter being the easier problem to tackle.

We brainstorm awhile, then I head inside to make notes and figure out a plan of attack for finding new insulation. And a plan for a future with Shay.

Sawyer’s “if you actually want to find a solution” has me edgy and annoyed. Of course I want to make things work with Shay. I wouldn’t have pursued her so relentlessly if I didn’t think we had staying potential. Long distance may be a no for me, along with moving my life here, but Shay is mobile. She might consider relocating if we get closer.

I have no doubt Hilary will offer Shay the job she’s coveting, and that job would likely hold her back from moving, which means I need to pivot to Planner Mode. Quit pretending the future will be dealt with later.