Page 131 of The Blessing

chapter 45

good riddance

“Well, babe, what do you think?” Ronnie asks as she steps back and wipes her forehead, smearing the blue paint that had dripped onto her face moments before.

What do I think? It’s fucking incredible. Every fucking inch of it. I guess it’s fitting that my girl did this because she’s incredible, too. It’s almost as beautiful as she is. It’s so hard for me to look away from her long enough to take in Grey’s newly painted bedroom. His newly painted bedroom in our brand new fucking house. I’ve never felt more proud. I’m a father, I’m a homeowner, and soon, I’ll be a husband, too. Freshly twenty-five years old as of last week, I can’t believe how different the horizon for this year looks. I’m so fucking lucky. Never have I felt so complete.

I look to Ronnie, who looks beyond stunning in her tank top and overalls, which are splattered in paint. I’ve spent the entire day trying to tear my eyes away from her braless tits. With the windows open for ventilation, her nipples are constantly straining against the thin fabric of her shirt, making it nearly impossible for me to focus on painting. Luckily, the room looks perfect despite the delicious distractions.

I never knew my girl was so artistic. The four, freshly painted, walls exceed all of my expectations. Grey is going to freak-out when he sees this. Ever since seeing The Lion King, he’s been obsessed with anything jungle related. Today, Ronnie has gone completely over the top. She painted trees, vines, and jungle grass along with an elephant, lion, zebra, giraffe, and multiple monkeys poking out of the various trees. I helped her paint the light blue background and a few butterflies here and there. It looks fucking incredible. We’ve been wanting to do this since we moved in a week ago. I’m happy we finally got the chance. My son deserves the fucking best and I think this will go beyond any of his wildest imaginations.

“This is fucking amazing, baby. I can’t believe we actually finished it.”

She smiles as she assesses her work. “It really turned out nicely. It’s not exactly like the picture… but I love it, regardless.”

“Fuck that DIY site,” I say with a grin as I pull her body against mine. “I love yours better than anyone’s we’ve seen online.”

“Thanks, Trev,” she says as she turns around in my arms to face me.

I squeeze her body against mine and bring my lips down to meet hers. She tastes so sweet and feels so perfect. I could take her right here. She moans against me before pulling away to breath. When she looks up at my face, she giggles, making me smile. I always enjoy hearing that beautiful sound.

“What are you giggling about?”

“You,” she responds with a coy grin. “Your face is covered in paint now.” She grabs a small towel from her pocket and rubs the paint off my face before cleaning up her own. “What do you think Grey will think?” she finally asks.

“What will he think? Are you kidding? Ronnie, he’s going to love it.” I bend down to try to kiss her again, but she stops me.

“Do you want to go get him and find out?”

I can’t help but fucking pout at this. She’s been teasing my cock all day and now I’ll have to wait until tonight to get some relief. “You want to pick him up now? We told your sister nine o’clock and it’s only five after eight.”

Eden’s home is only a short walk away, so what’s the rush? Ronnie says I’m insatiable, but I think it’s just her. It’s not my fault that she does this to me. Just being in the same room with her makes me fucking hard. My desire for her can be downright inconvenient at times. It’s hard to have sex with a baby always around. It’s like we have to sneak it in whenever we find the time. Whether it’s in the shower or on the kitchen floor, whenever the urge hits—which is constantly—we’re fucking. So, she must really want to show our son his room if she’s willing to pass up the perfect opportunity to have sex without the possibility of interruptions.

“Come on, Trev. I’ll make it up to you tonight. I promise. I just can’t wait to show him.”

Can I deny her anything? We change our clothes before walking down the street to pick up Grey. He’s more than ready to come home by the time we get there. While he loves hanging out with Harper, he grows antsy after a few hours without seeing Ronnie or me. We find him super fussy in Quinton’s arms, but he thankfully stops crying as soon as he sees us.

He’s so excited to fucking see us, he begins to babble as soon as we’re in his sight. We thank Quinton and Eden for watching him and invite them over for dinner tomorrow before we finally bounce. Grey happily jabbers the entire way home. When we get back home we take him to his room so he can see it’s freshly painted jungle-themed walls. He seems mystified and finally at a loss for words; it’s fucking incredible to see. Our little guy is speechless, as his small mouth drops open in awe and his eyes become wild with excitement. I look to my girl and find her eyes are filling with tears as she watches our son.

“Do you like it, buddy?”

Grey quickly turns his head at the sound of my voice and smiles at me. He gives me a look which says, “Like it? I love it, Daddy,” before he points at each animal and giggles.

I turn back to Ronnie, who’s wiping her tears as they trail down her flushed cheeks. She looks so fucking happy. I love seeing her like this more than anything. “Baby, don’t cry,” I softly say, wrapping an arm around her. She giggles along with Grey and wipes up the remainder of her happy tears.

“He looks so happy, Trevor. I just get overwhelmed every time I see him like this.”

I’m overwhelmed, too. I’d do anything to make him this happy all of the time. After losing his parents, I want to give him the very best life possible. I want him to be able to look back at his childhood one day and see that I did my best to give him everything I could.

Ronnie takes him from my arms and shows him around the room. She shows him each and every animal she painted and watches his reaction. I’m captivated by the sight, watching my son practically fucking glow as he sees his mommy’s hard work. It’s moments like these when I feel like I’m living in a dream, and I’m fucking afraid to ever wake-up.

Despite how wonderful this past month has been, I have this strange, yet familiar feeling in my gut, warning me another storm is brewing. Maybe I’m being too fucking negative, but no matter what, I can’t seem to shake this feeling. It follows me everywhere and causes my paranoia to fucking skyrocket. I keep my attention on Ronnie and Grey all of the time because I’m worried that some horrible shit will happen to them. I don’t know what I’d do if anything did happen to either of them. I’d be fucking ruined, that’s for sure. My fear has propelled me to cherish everyone in my life. In a way, it’s almost a good thing. Fear has inspired me to get out of the house and see the people who are so meaningful to me.

The past few weeks I’ve been spending as much time with my parents as possible. Getting to know my mom better while making up for lost time. She’s an incredible fucking woman. I’m crushed I didn’t get to grow up with her. I missed out on so much. However, I understand why she left and I’ve forgiven her for leaving me. She may be my mom… but she’s only human. She did the best she could. I only hope I can say the same at the end of my life. All I fucking want is the chance to be at peace with my actions and happy with the choices I’ve made. Mom hasn’t been happy for a good long while. Hearing about her struggles is fucking devastating. I’m just so thankful she’s a part of my life now. She’s getting the life she’s always wanted; the life she’s always deserved to have. She’s not scared anymore and she’s free to live the life she wants.

Seeing her with my dad was incredibly awkward at first because I’d grown-up with him and Evelyn; I’d always thought he loved his wife. Dad told me she’d been easy for him to love when they were younger. However, he also explained that his love for her had been rather selfish. At first, he thought she was like the woman he’d lost—my biological mother—but, as time went on and the going got rough, he realized she was nothing like Felicity. Then, at some point, his love for Evelyn had become more like a companionship and all that was left was his respect for her as the mother of his child. In all honesty, I feel like he only loved her because it was convenient. I believe that’s how a lot of people find “love.” If you’re needy enough, you can romanticize anyone, making any relationship with any person become more than it truly is. That’s why so many couples I see together are so obviously fucking wrong for each other. They want a relationship more than they want the person they’re with. My dad and Evelyn definitely fall into this category of shitty reasons to be together. Looking at their relationship in retrospect, it’s obvious they shared no real chemistry or any shit like that. I thought what they had was love because I hadn’t known any better. Then, Ronnie came into my life and I realized what my dad had with Evelyn wasn’t love—it was a partnership, if anything. At least that’s how I think my dad viewed it.

Despite what Evelyn says, I know she loved my father. I don’t know if she still does, but she definitely loved him while they were married. Realizing this almost makes me feel fucking sorry for her because I’m not sure my dad ever really reciprocated those feelings. I know he cared for her and respected her, but I don’t think he loved her the way she loved him. Although, I’m sure they both loved each other the same way at some point in their relationship—probably very early on. Sometimes, someone is right for you at a certain time in your life and you can love them as much as that version of yourself will allow. However, that doesn’t mean that person is right for you forever. I believe you can love multiple people within your lifetime, but you only experience true love once. For my dad, his true love was Felicity, and for me—it’s Ronnie. Now, whenever I see my parents embrace, all the awkwardness I once felt is gone. I can tell they love each other and, despite their flaws, I love seeing them happy together.