Page 78 of Suite 7

“We’re not arguing.” Her eyes go wide. “Kane. We’re not arguing.”

“We don’t have to argue about every⁠⁠—“

“Yes, we do!” She stands abruptly, barstool scraping the floor. “We always argue! About everything! And now we had a civil exchange about your coffee-making process!”

“Vera—”

“Sloane’s going to know.” She’s pacing, hands pulling through her hair. “She keeps a running list of things we’ve argued about. And now we’re —“ She gestures wildly at the bedroom, at me, at herself in my shirt. “We can’t pretend everything’s the same when we’ve done this.”

“We can absolutely maintain⁠⁠—”

“How?” Nearly shouting. “How, Kane? You think we can flip a switch? Go back to being enemies in public while we’re—“ She gestures at the bedroom again. “While we’re doing what we’re doing?”

“We were never enemies.”

“That’s not the point. The point is Sloane knows us. She knows how we are together.”

“So we’ll be more careful.”

“More careful?” She laughs, sharp and humorless. “You think we can choreograph our arguments like scene negotiations?”

“That’s not what I’m saying⁠⁠—“

“Then what are you saying? Because it sounds like you think we can just perform normalcy and she won’t notice everything’s different!”

“I’m saying you’re overreacting!”

“I’m not⁠⁠—“

“You’re panicking over one conversation⁠⁠—“

“It’s not one conversation, it’s a pattern! It’s years of history we’re about to destroy because we can’t keep our hands off each other.”

“So what do you want me to do?” My voice rises to match hers. “Go back in time? Pretend last night didn’t happen?”

“I want you to take this seriously!”

“I’m taking it seriously! You’re having a meltdown over coffee.”

“It’s not about the coffee!”

“Then what is it about?”

“It’s about lying to my best friend.” Her eyes are bright with angry tears now. “It’s about destroying a friendship that’s older than any relationship I’ve ever had because I can’t stop wanting someone I’m not supposed to want.”

“You think I don’t know that?” My mug hits the surface with force. “You think I’m not aware of what we’re risking? What we’re doing to her?”

“Then why are we doing it?”

“Because I can’t stop!” The words come out before I can shape them. “Because years of fighting it didn’t work. Because you knelt for me and looked at me like I wasn’t broken and I—“ I stop. Force breath into my lungs. “I can’t give that up. I can’t give you up.”

The argument goes out of the room.

She stills. Her hands uncurl at her sides. Her chest rises and falls once, slowly.

“Even if it costs us Sloane?”

“I don’t know.” The admission burns. “I wish I could promise you this won’t blow up in our faces. I can’t.”