Page 70 of Two for Charging

They went into the kitchen. Chris prayed there was no alcohol in there.

Tom watched them go, looking absolutely exhausted. “You should step up as captain, Tom. The team needs you to be more hands-on,” he muttered in a mocking tone. “I’m going to resign and make Jax do it.”

“Please don’t.” Chris loved Jax, he did, but the man was neither levelheaded in a crisis nor gifted at de-escalation.

“Thank you for helping. I know you don’t want to hear it, but you’re good at this sort of thing.”

Chris shrugged. “I’m a good locker room guy.” He’d been twelve the first time a coach had described him as such. At first, it made him proud until he realized it meant he’d never be the world’s greatest hockey player, but people liked him enough to keep him around.

But Tom shook his head. “No. I mean, you are. But you’re so much more. It’s so rare to get a player who cares so little about his own glory. You can tell what you’re out there for—to protect our guys and to let the offensive players make the plays up front.”

Chris shrugged. “That’s what I enjoy about the game.”

“Professionally speaking, you’re the least selfish hockey player I’ve ever met.” Tom shook his head. “And it’s the same off the ice. You get the team to gel together; you make everyone feel welcome. We want you to take the A because you have skills I don’t have. Jax could, if he tried, but he doesn’t have half your patience when people are being dumb.”

“Takes one to know one, I guess.”

“Breezy.” Tom always looked serious, but Chris had never been on the receiving end of this much of his attention. It was not a comfortable place to be. “You’re a fantastic defenseman, and you’re one of the best teammates I’ve ever had. Don’t sell yourself short.”

He reached out, seemed to reconsider for a moment, and then patted Chris on the shoulder after all. “Come on. Let’s go see if Jax murdered Hayes.”

As far as Chris could tell, everyone in the den was still alive and well. Mara and Ben were deep in conversation about a movie they had both been to see recently, while Mooney questioned Phil about his wedding.

“Man, you didn’t invite us?” Mooney shook his head. “Weak, bro.”

“We didn’t invite anyone,” Phil defended. “It all happened kind of fast. Breezy was only there by accident.”

“Breezy got to go?” Mooney looked to him. “Betrayed! What the fuck! And you didn’t tell anyone?”

Chris sat next to Luca. “You can’t go around telling people other people are gay. Or, like, not straight. I don’t actually know how you identify, Phil.”

“Much appreciated.” Phil lifted his beer bottle in a toast. “And I’m going with bi, I guess.”

“Okay, fair.” Mooney picked at the label on his own bottle, looking down at the floor. “Still, guess I missed a whole bunch.”

Hayes nursed a whiskey, and every now and again, he looked up and shook his head. “You’re telling me,” he muttered in reply to Mooney, forgetting momentarily that Mooney hated his guts. “Shit, wait, do I have to keep this all a secret from Allie?”

“Nah,” Phil said. “At least not on my end. Where is she, anyway?”

“Home sick.”

Come to think of it, Chris hadn’t seen her since the wedding. “Is she okay?”

“She will be. Maybe especially when I tell her about tonight, Jesus Christ. Any other big team secrets I should know? Do I have to be—what’s the right word…I know it’s not ‘queer’—to keep my A?”

“You can use queer if you are queer,” Jax said.

“Oh, so it’s like the N-word?”

Phil choked on his drink. “No, it is not!”

Before another debate could break out, Tom raised his hands and made a “calm down” motion. “As far as I know, there are no other big secrets. And of course, your A isn’t in danger for being straight, or we wouldn’t all be after Breezy to take an A as well.”

A chortle went around the room, as if Chris were so obviously not queer in any way that the mere idea of him being part of the community made everyone roll around with laughter. He swallowed hard around the sudden, unexpected hurt. People could laugh at him all they wanted; it had been happening his whole life, and he’d learned not to care. Usually, people made fun of him for good reason, and he had no problem owning up to whatever it was. This time, it made anger and shame curdle in his gut. He looked over to Luca, who stared into his drink, not reacting at all to the idea of Chris being queer.

That wasn’t right.

He’d had Luca’s dick in his mouth less than an hour ago—why didn’t Luca frown or disagree or something? Chris might not know what the right word for him was, but “straight” couldn’t be it anymore.