Page 64 of Alec

“So it was just one more romp for you. I get it.” They were almost there; Olivia could sense it. She just needed to push him a little more. “Tell me, is the gossip true? Do you ignore all women because you’re still in love with some girl left back in the twelfth century. Is that why you’ve slept alone for nine hundred years?”

Alec gave her a shake. “Cease your taunting, you reckless wench.”

“Then talk to me. Tell me this thing you’ve kept secret from your brothers and me and everyone else here.” She let all the love she had for him fill her eyes as she met his gaze. “I’m right here, and I want to be with you. Only you, for the rest of my life. You’re all I’ve wanted since the night I fell into your arms.”

“You dinnae ken what you ask.” Alec looked away, his eyes shifting toward the stables.

That was it, Olivia realized. That was why he’d made love to her in the hayloft. Why he had been so desperate to kiss and hold her.

“Rory showed me something in a dream that I didn’t understand, but I think I do now,” she said softly. “It’s time you came out of that barn, Alec.”

He tried to shove her away, but a moment later he was pressing her against him as if he wanted their bodies to merge together. She hated herself for pushing him so hard, but they were almost there.

“You don’t have to tell me anything.” Breaking point or not, Olivia knew she still had to give him an out. “I don’t care about who you were, or what you did. All that counts with me is who you are now.”

His chest heaved against her, and he didn’t say anything for so long that Olivia wondered if he ever would. Then, in a very low voice, he said, “They came for me at night, after my grandsire slept.”

He described for her what had happened after he’d been chained and left alone in the barn every night on his grandfather’s farm. How from the time he was just a little boy until his early teenage years, the dairy maids and village girls had crept inside and molested him. They’d kissed and touched him, and rubbed their bodies against his, putting their hands inside his clothes to grope his genitals as they licked and bit him. They took turns, one holding him down while another assaulted him.

“They told me I’d like it, but I never did,” he said, his voice tight.

Alec told her how he worked out ways with which to defend himself against his nightly visitors. He grew adept at using his feet and legs to kick and drive them back. When there were too many to stop he would climb up the chains attached to his shackles to wedge himself in the barn rafters.

“They took their revenge on me by spreading word in the village of how my grandsire shackled me every night.” He met her gaze, his own dark and wretched. “Jealous shepherds and village lads came to make me suffer for luring the wenches to me. They proved harder to drive away. Sometimes they caught me sleeping and beat me so badly I’d still be covered in bruises and blood when my grandsire came to release me at dawn.”

Because Alec was half-Fae he always survived the injuries inflicted on him, and healed by the next night, which made the boys hate him even more. Yet in the end it was what the girls had done to him that had inflicted wounds that had never healed.

“For years after I joined the clan I couldnae look at a female without remembering what those wenches did to me,” he said finally. “When a maid tried to touch me, those nights would come back in my thoughts at once. I’d have to run to a privy to keep from boaking on them. Indeed, I wondered if I’d ever overcome my aversion to females.”

“You mean that you never chose anyone to love before me. Even before the curse.” As he nodded, a cold, gripping horror seized Olivia. “Alec, if I did anything–”

“No, my dreòlan. Nine centuries I’ve been unable to touch a female without remembering. Then you came to me. I dinnae how I ken thus, or why, only you were mine.” He kissed her brow. “You brought out in me pure, clean desire. You made me understand at last. With your generous kindness, and unwavering affection, I soon saw how ’twould be.”

“You still should have told me.” She blinked hard to keep from crying. “I would never have done anything to make you uncomfortable or remind you of those girls who hurt you.”

“You couldnae, my wee wren.” He pressed his hand against her cheek. “We’re the same, you and me. You see past my face. When I show you the ugliness I’ve hidden, you dinnae turn away from me. You’re the only woman I’ve ever truly wanted. The only lady I want in my arms, in my bed, in my heart. I love you, Olivia.”

“And I love you just as much.” She looked up at him. “So why don’t I deserve you? I think you certainly deserve me.”

“My grandsire’s blood runs through my veins,” he said slowly. “’Tis made me an angry man, filled with mistrust. I cannae abide most females. Aye, I’ve the beauty in my face, but only rage and hatred in my heart.” He stroked his thumb across her cheekbone. “Never shall I deserve you. For all my beauty, no one can love me.”

“You’re wrong. Tasgall loves you. So does Ava.” She smiled. “I know you trust and care for her because she saved the laird’s life. You’ve already said you love me. You’re changing, Alec. You’re finally healing.”

“Would that I could,” he said, kissing her brow.

“I can tell you how to stop hating those who abused you in the past.” She linked her hands behind his neck. “Do you really want to get over what they did to you?”

His mouth flattened, but he nodded.

“All you have to do is forgive them.” She didn’t look away from the pain in his eyes. “I know how hard that is. It took me ten years and coming here to forgive my mother. What made it possible was meeting you and discovering that loving you was more important than hating her.”

Alec closed his eyes for a moment and bent to press his brow to hers. “’Tis the same for me.”

“It doesn’t have to be something you do in this moment, either,” Olivia assured him. “It will happen when it’s supposed to. Just be with me, Alec, and let that be enough for now. Let love be enough.”

He cradled her face between his palms. “Aye, my lady. My love.”

In the end all that remained of Clagden’s lover was a black mark on the gallery floor. Jean had whined and begged for her life, offering Bodach her wealth and property as well as her body to keep him from slaying her. Since she was half-vampire the end didn’t take very long; the red crystal particularly enjoyed feeding on the stolen mortal life energy that empowered her variety of dark Fae. Once he’d finished that task he went back to shut off the gallery’s lights, wishing he had been able to trust the gallery director. Having Clagden as a servant for a short time had proven very useful, and with a woman instead Bodach could have used her for sex.