Page 46 of Liberating Lily

“No, I guess not. I didn’t really feel happiness or sadness or fear. I was just numb. But the numb is a good thing. The numb means I can’t hurt anyone. The numb means people are safe around me.”

And the numb meant she didn’t have to think too much about her future, or about the things that she’d done in the past.

“So, Lily, on the front of the medicine bottle it says that it’s a mild sedative,” Michaela explained. “It shouldn’t have made you feel numb. And while it might be prescribed to someone who was feeling anxious and having issues sleeping, it doesn’t sound like it should have been prescribed to you.”

“Mild sedative? Well, probably a lot of people get prescribed that, don’t they?”

“Possibly,” Michaela said. “But again, it shouldn’t have made you feel numb. It shouldn’t have dulled your feelings and emotions.”

“So what are you saying?” Lily asked.

“The pills inside the bottle didn’t fully match the prescription on the outside of the bottle,” Harvey told her. “You weren’t taking a mild sedative.”

“What was I taking?” she asked, feeling fear course through her.

“You’re taking something that’s only available on the black market,” Michaela told her. “It’s called Devil’s Breath. Have you ever heard of it?”

She shook her head. “What do you mean, something that is only available on the black market? Mother’s doctor prescribed it for me. Are you saying that someone swapped the pills he prescribed?”

“Well, we don’t know what happened yet,” Harvey told her. “Did you see that doctor very often? We’re trying to do some research into him, but he seems to have a private clinic. Is that right?”

“Yes, Mother has known him for years. He has a clinic with a small hospital attached.”

“A hospital?” Michaela asked. “Really?”

“Sort of. A private one.” She wasn’t feeling very good about this conversation.

How could she have been given something that was only available on the black market? And what had those pills done to her?

“Can you give us the address, baby?” Harvey asked.

She nodded.

“Did you sometimes spend nights there?” Harvey asked her.

“Yes, I can remember a few times. Sometimes I’d be in the clinic, and then when I’d wake up, I’d be at home, and I would have lost time. I don’t even recall getting home.”

Harvey and Michaela shared a look. “What aren’t you telling me?” she asked, feeling her heart start to race. “What is it? What’s wrong? What’s with those pills? What do they do to you? Why would someone have given them to me?”

“Okay, baby, calm down. We’re going to answer your questions as best we can, but you’ve got to answer ours as well.”

Harvey reached out to touch her hands, but she snatched them back. Then she slammed them down on her thighs.

“No, tell me what is going on. I’m sick of only having half the story.”

“Baby, baby, stop. You’re going to hurt yourself. Lily, stop.”

She froze at the stern note in his voice, and then she glanced down at her hands, which she must have been smacking into her thighs over and over. But she hadn’t just hit herself, she’d also hit him.

The tops of his hands looked slightly red and remorse filled her. She drew her legs up and curled into a ball, pressing her forehead to her knees.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I hurt you. I’m sorry.”

Harvey’s heart was breaking, and he glanced over at Michaela. “Leave us for a minute.”

The older woman’s face had grown softer as she stared down at Lily. “I can give her a sedative, but that might not be the best idea.”

“No, I think she’s been given enough drugs.”