Page 48 of Liberating Lily

“I . . . I guess so. He’s such an asshole. He dropped Clem when he found out she had cancer, as though she was defective. He actually said that he didn’t want her to poison their future children. If she could still have them. When Grandma June died and left Clem her place I was so relieved because I knew that was her ticket to freedom.”

“And what about your freedom, baby?”

Lily shook her head. “I wasn’t always a great sister to Clem. I could be self-centered. I had no interest in the farm. Grandma June and Clem had a close relationship. If anyone should have that property, it was Clem.”

“Does your sister know you were trying to protect her?”

“I don’t think so,” Lily said, glancing away with a frown. “I don’t know.”

Was there more she wasn’t telling him?

“You didn’t want to tell her?”

“I didn’t want her to feel guilty or bad, I guess. And I thought it was better for her to have a clean break from the entire family, me included. Then Mother said she wanted her to be one of my bridesmaids. I had to agree, even though I knew Mother would probably start picking on her, which she did. She can never leave off about Clem’s weight.”

“You had friends, though. What about those two girls that were going to be your bridesmaids?”

Lily let out a humorless laugh. “They’d sooner stab me in the back than help me. If they knew the full truth of everything that went on in that house, it would be spread throughout the entire city by now. No, I was on my own. But the pills helped. They keep me regulated, and they keep me from feeling too much.”

“Have you seen any other doctors?”

Lily shook her head. “No. No one else.”

“Tell me what happened to trigger it all,” he said.

“Um, well, okay. I don’t remember it that well. But Mother told me that I got really upset by something. I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was to do with the wedding. Anyway, she said I lashed out, that I threw things, tore up the living room.”

“Tore it up?” he asked.

“Yeah, that I smashed stuff and just made this huge mess, and I saw photos of what it looked like afterward, so I know that was true.”

“Right.” He had some doubts about that. “Those photos could have been faked. Do you actually remember doing that?”

“Well, not exactly. I sort of remember something where I got angry, but I can’t remember the specifics of it. I don’t know why I can’t remember things. That was part of my illness—memory loss. I often lose long spaces of time.”

“Apparently, the side effects of Devil’s Breath are that you can suffer from memory loss, and also you can become quite suggestive and zombielike.”

“Suggestive,” she said, trembling.

He couldn’t stand that, so he carefully picked her up and then positioned himself, with his back against the headboard and her on his lap.

She didn’t protest, which he was taking as a win.

“It’s possible that someone told you that you did that. And you only think you did, when you really didn’t.”

Lily shook her head. “Who would do that? I don’t understand. There’s no reason why my mother would tell me that I smashed up the living room and attacked her if I didn’t.”

“She might, if she wanted you to take those pills.”

Her breathing seemed to grow faster, and he kissed the top of her head, rocking her slightly. “It’s all right, baby. It’s all over now. I have you. I’m going to keep you safe.”

“But I hurt her. You don’t understand. I saw those scratches and bruises. I hurt her. I can remember doing it. I can remember scratching at her hands. I’m certain that’s a real memory.”

“It could well be. Some of your memories could get all mixed up, muddled.”

“I don’t like this, Harvey. I don’t like the idea that I’ve lost so much of my life. That someone gave me black market pills to make me more suggestive and controllable. What could have happened that I don’t remember?”

The thought of what she’d been through made him furious, and he had to work hard to keep his temper under control.