Page 9 of Save Me

“Hey, you’ll get it dirty! And I’m not stupid.”

“I doubt a horse is gonna care… Don’t they eat dirt all day? Plus, I’m not the one who thought parmesan was pronounced par-mee-shawn.” Joshua grins at me, and for a second, the pure joy in it takes my breath away. From the first day he sat next to me in science class, there’s been this weird magnet in my chest that ties to his. He’s just so effortlessly cool and smart. He gets bullied for being gay, which he denies, but either way, I don’t care. I think he’s cool as heck. I think I want to be him with his broody brains.

“Whatever.” I try to wipe the dumb look off my face. When I glance back to see if he noticed, Joshua is giving me a soft look that immediately sets butterflies loose in my stomach. I like the soft look on him. For a second, we’re caught there, staring at each other. I look at his lips, his pretty pink lips, and I wonder what they’d feel like against mine.

Wait. What? I was just thinking that because they look so soft. Right? That’s it.

The sound of a car passing breaks through the silence, and Joshua clears his throat, grabbing the carrot. “Hey, it’s dirty. Clean it off for me.” He lunges at me, tackling me to the ground.

“Hey!” I exclaim, stumbling back, but he’s on top of me, his weight pressing into my stomach.

“Clean it, stupid,” Joshua mocks, his eyes bright, putting the carrot to my lips. In that second, something washes over me. It’s a heat that seeps through my skin. In my jeans, I harden.

I jerk my gaze up to Joshua’s, knowing he can probably feel it, and he’s there, staring down at me, a flushed look on his cheeks. He doesn’t move.

I swallow harshly, my own cheeks getting red, but he doesn’t pull away, and it sends a shot of adrenaline and joy through me. Suddenly, I can see my future. Our future. Us, happy together. Safe. Loved.

Joshua shakes his head, smiling. “Whatever, idiot.” He gets off me, running toward the fence line. For a second, I feel his loss, but I get up and chase after him. We feed Lucifer, the neighbor’s horse, and chase each other around, mocking each other until we’re both hungry and thirsty. It feels good, I haven’t run around outside like this since I was a kid.

I glance at my watch. “I’m sure Beth will have dinner ready by now.”

From his bent over position where he’s heaving for breath, he gives me a weird look. “Your mom’s name is Beth?”

“No, that’s our cook.” I give him a teasing smile. “Weak butt, cat got your breath.”

“You have a cook?” Joshua’s brows raise.

Suddenly, I realize that he’s looking at me with the same look that other kids at school sometimes do.

“It’s not a big deal.” I try to shrug it off and lead him back to the house. Because it isn’t. My dad has money, so what? It doesn’t make me different from anyone else. I pay for it by him not being home at all anyway.

Joshua is quiet. I try to tease him and get him engaged again, but his snorts are softer. It makes my chest twist in the kind of way that makes me afraid. What happened? How can I get it back?

I turn around, heart racing, watching the sunset light up Joshua’s face. He looks so pretty, I’m not sure what to do. So instead, I tease, “Going slow there, Joshy boy. Need me to help?”

Joshua puts a hand up to his forehead, feigning faintness. “Oh yes, so frail.”

“I got you.” I sidle up to him, fully aware that Joshua is bigger than I am, and put my arm around his shoulder. “Allow me, fair maiden.”

Joshua drops all his weight into me, and I grunt. In response, he just puts more weight on me, and I hear the mocking in his tone. “You okay, cupcake?”

“Fine,” I grunt, walking Joshua through the yard to my house, not complaining at all at the contact. As soon as we round the tree, there’s a clear view of the back windows, and Joshua stiffens against me. I glance up at him, and there’s a line between his eyes.

“Are your parents home?”

I snort. “Nah, I don’t think so. My parents are never home.”

Joshua pulls away from me, and there’s a cracking feeling in my chest. But then, he slides his hand down and grabs mine. Suddenly, I’m full of bubbly hope, and I look back at him. He rolls his eyes at me. “Just in case your weak ass passes out after carrying me. I can’t explain to your richy rich parents why their precious son is bleeding out over the floor.”

I laugh with him as we walk in the back door. “Well, it’s a richy rich mess, so they might not even notice.” The AC blasts us in a cool wave, and for a moment, all is perfect. I have a smart, funny guy with me and fudge, I think he might like me!

It all comes crashing down around me as my dad’s cold voice breaks across the kitchen. “Micah?”

I jerk my gaze up to see Dad standing there, a beer in one hand and his phone in the other. “Dad. What time is it?”

Joshua lets go of my hand like it’s burning him.

Mom is behind Dad in the hallway, leaning against the wall and giving me an annoyed look.