Page 63 of Reaching Gavin

There was a knock on the door. We both glared at it as though the significance of it being closed had been ignored.

“Give me a few minutes,” Gavin yelled out.

“I understand that I blindsided you,” he started, keeping his voice low enough that whoever was standing outside the door wouldn’t hear us fighting. “I have to think not only about our relationship but my relationship with all of these people as well. I didn’t want to hide my feelings for you. I’m not ashamed of them.”

“You think I’m ashamed?”

“I don’t know what’s up with you,” he admitted.

Oh, that was the final straw. I exploded, like an undetonated landmine that he’d accidentally stepped on. “I told you I wasn’t seeing anyone, and you finagled your way into a date! I mentioned that I had a habit of moving too fast, and you step on the gas! I’ve barely processed how I feel about you and you’re shouting it from the rooftops.”

“I thought we were on the same page.” Now Gavin didn’t look wounded, he looked devastated.

I hadn’t just hurt him, I found the one thing that might destroy us. He’d taken steps during our entire courtship to make sure he wasn’t crossing a line. At every turn he’d given me a chance to say what I wanted and he always made sure it was okay before he took the next step. Had he pursued me? Yes. Had I allowed that? Yes. I was every bit as culpable regarding what had happened between us. But that was the thing about lovers’ quarrels, it was much easier to overlook the facts in favor of wallowing in my feelings.

The door to the office opened and Imogen peeked inside. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need to be going. I just wanted to say goodbye.”

She looked between us nervously. Either we weren’t being as quiet as we thought or she’d known this was coming. She’d picked up on my mood when we were in the conference room.

“It’s okay,” I told her. “We were just finishing up here. I had to tell Gavin that I was reconsidering my relationship with NorthWest Investments.”

“Cassie,” Gavin said, taking a step toward me. “Don’t.”

“I’ll finish out my internship,” I said to him before turning to her. “I’ll make certain that whoever takes over the Majestic Theater project is well prepared.”

I strode past both of them, bypassing my desk, and making a beeline for the bathroom. The first tears hit my cheeks as soon as the door swung shut behind me. I locked it, thankful that there was one place where I wouldn’t be interrupted. A few minutes later there was a gentle knock on the door.

“Cassie?” Imogen’s voice called through the door.

I swiped at my tears, but there was no way to hide my blotchy face. I cracked open the door and peered out. That was all she needed. She pushed inside and locked it behind us.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Did he send you?”

She shook her head. “I’m here on my own. No agenda. Although, he is pretty upset. It reminds me of the day our dog died.”

That wasn’t making me feel any better. I couldn’t explain it to her. Imogen and I were the same age. We might have been friends. However, this was something only Gavin and me could work through. “I’m not ready to talk about it.”

“I understand.” She handed me a slip of paper. “That’s my number. I wanted you to have it. Look, Gavin can be a pain in the ass. Believe me, I know. But he loves you.”

“I’m getting really sick of everyone saying that like it makes it okay.” The fact was Gavin hadn’t even said it to me yet. She didn’t know that. But, if it was going to be everyone’s excuse for him acting in my best interest without my consent, that was going to be a problem.

“It doesn’t excuse him,” she agreed, “but you should know it all the same.”

“I do know, but I’m not sure if I can get past this.” That was the truth. I was too close to the anger and hurt to see whatever might be on the other side for us. If there was anything at all.

“Call me if you want to get a drink,” she said with genuine concern.

I finished out the day, able to get away with making small talk with a few people. I refused to cry any time someone made a joke about my relationship with Gavin, even though my heart broke a little more each time.

I had no doubt the news of Gavin’s announcement had filtered down to the receptionist’s desk, so I practically ran out of the building as soon as five o’clock hit. At least, the apartment would be a sanctuary. Lillian would be at work. When I got home, it was blessedly quiet. Olive was batting around her new purple friend and she looked up when I came inside. I shut the door and collapsed against it as the tears began to flow. Other than my cry in the bathroom, I hadn’t given in to this pain inside me. Now it consumed me.

“Cassie? Is that you?” A concerned voice called from the couch and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Walking the few steps into the living room, I found the last person I expected to see and the best friend I needed to talk to the most.