Page 39 of All In

And if I cross my fingers for good luck, does that make me seem childish? Don’t care. I hook my middle finger around my index and nearly hold my breath while I wait for him to stop searching my face and answer.

He blows out a breath. “Yes, I’d be okay with more.”

“Ew.” His eyes widen. “No, not ew. I just mean, yeah, kinda ew. I don’t want to have sex if it’s something you’re just… okay with. I want it to be something you want.”

Throat bobbing with a heavy swallow, he stares into my eyes, and when he speaks, his voice is more raspy and raw than I’ve ever heard it. “Oh, I want that very much.”

My stomach flips, nervous excitement skittering through my veins. “Okay.”

I lean forward to kiss him, and he pulls back, so I pause. “What?”

“Not right now.”

But… “Okay. Is something wrong?”

He shakes his head. “I’d just like for more to happen… spontaneously. And not, you know, thirty seconds after we decide we’re adding sex to our marriage.”

I can’t help but laugh. “That might be the funniest thing you’ve ever said. Okay, that’s fine.” Though I hope he’s fine with spontaneous happening sooner rather than later. “Husbands with benefits.”

“What?” he asks, chuckling.

“It’s like friends with benefits. Only we have the bonus of being married.”

Grayson’s laugh warms me from the inside out. “What am I gonna do with you? Do you wanna get ready and go out? We can get some dinner, walk around, and people watch?”

I can’t think of a better way to spend the night. Okay, well, yeah, I can. But I can be patient. Probably. “Sounds perfect.”

Chapter 13

Grayson

I’m really not sure what I just agreed to.

It was just… Harlow was offering me everything I’ve ever wanted, and how am I supposed to say no to that? How was I supposed to resist saying yes?

Is it going to hurt? Definitely. But fuck, I’m already head over heels in love with Harlow. How can having this with him be any worse? At the end of our three-month marriage, I’m still going to hurt. I’m still going to wish for more.

Or… Or maybe I can use this time to try to make him fall in love with me too.

Ugh. The idea alone makes me feel bad. Like I’d be manipulating him. I can’t do that. So instead, I’ll take the gift for what it is and be thankful.

Not that I only want Harlow for sex. I’ve loved him since before I even knew what love was, and back then, I sure wasn’t thinking about sex. And now? I mean… I can’t deny that it sounds amazing, but it’s not like I’ve never had it or like I’m going to die without it.

I’ve lived this long loving Harlow Young, and I can do it for longer.

I just need to remember that this has an expiration date. Three months, and that’s it.

“What do you want to eat?”

Harlow shrugs. I really think I need to get him out of my lap. Nothing about having his warm body pressed to mine is productive. Sure, Harlow has always acted a bit like he wants to crawl into my skin, and it’s been a while since he’s been free to touch me the way he used to, but even so, we’ve never done this. I’ve never had him in my lap, not with his legs straddling my waist and his face so close to mine I can see the fuzzy edges of each of his freckles.

“Well, we better go find something. We can just walk around and see what we stumble across.”

He makes no effort to get up, so I give him a little tap on his ass that gets him moving. His eyes widen as he scrambles out of my lap, and my heart jumps into my throat. That’s definitely something I wouldn’t have even thought about doing four days ago.

“How are we gonna dress?” Harlow asks, raking a hand through his wild hair.

“When is the fancy dinner planned?” I ask instead of answering him outright.