Page 86 of Not Until I Found You

“Daddy, can I show Maxinne the chickens?” Annabelle asks as soon as we arrive at the farm, already bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Yeah, of course,” Ryland tells her, grinning as they walk off, hand in hand, toward the chicken coop.

We stand on the porch, the old wood creaking beneath our boots as we move. Annabelle cradles a chicken against her chest while she shows Maxinne the garden. Maxinne crouches down, listening to Annabelle intently, her fingers brushing the leaves of plants as she moves.

She’s lost in her own little world, and I can’t help but stare, completely transfixed. I don’t think there’s anything in my life that has consumed me as wholly as it seems that plants do for Maxinne. I’ve noticed it every time we’ve gone hiking, when we’re by the lake, even during moments by the bonfire.

It’s mesmerizing, watching her so clearly in her element, as if I’m witnessing her step fully into who she was always meant to be. Being around Maxinne, without any effort on her part, has breathed life and hope back into my world.

When I look over at my brother, he’s studying me with a knowing expression on his face.

“She’s been good for you.” He clamps a hand down on my shoulder, giving me a little shake.

I don’t deny it, because he’s right. She has been.

It’s rare for me to feel this connected to another person. Since the very first moment she ran into me, I’ve been drawn to her. And as we’ve settled into friendship, I’ve been intrigued by her in a way that defies explanation.

I understand we’ve only known each other for a little over a month now. It’s easier to think that whatever this is between us is only infatuation and not something stronger. But infatuation is about only seeing an idealized version of someone. It’s built on illusion. And nothing about my experience with Maxinne has been idealized.

She’s, admittedly, drop-dead gorgeous, but I don’t want some polished, glamorized version of her. I like the real one. The one who tosses her hair into a messy braid, who isn’t afraid to walk around barefaced, comfortable in her own skin. Someone who puts others before herself and whose heart seems to instinctively look for ways to love people well.

That’s the version of her I’m drawn to, and that’s what scares me the most, because wanting that means I’m no longer admiring her from a safe distance. Instead, I want to reach out, anchor myself to her, and never let go. It means I want her woven into my life, not only passing through it, and I’m not sure what that means for us.

I turn toward my brother, my chest tightening as the truth settles deep inside my gut, and my brows draw together as I admit the truth out loud.

“I think I’m falling for her.”

Chapter Twenty

Maxinne

The afternoon is already hot enough that a thin layer of sweat sticks to the back of my neck, but I honestly don’t mind. There are worse places to spend a summer day than in the garden surrounded by plants. I’m patting the soil around a tomato plant I had to repot, because the stubborn thing refuses to thrive alongside the rest, when my phone buzzes in the front pocket of my overalls. I tug off my gloves, brushing dirt from my palms before lifting the screen.

Zane

How’s your day been?

My heart is exploding with sunshine at the sight of his name, because I love that Zane thought of me. That, in the middle of his workday, he paused long enough to check in, and I’m not used to this from…well, anyone.

I tuck my lower lip under my teeth as I type a reply to him.

Me

It’s been productive, but now I’m tired. How has yours been?

The bubbles appear, and my stomach drops as if I’m at the top of a roller coaster—you know that suspended-breathless-second-before-the-fall feeling. I set my phone face down on the ground like that’ll help, then pick it back up immediately because, apparently, I have no self-control left. What is happening to me? I’ve been staring at the screen, waiting for a reply, like I’m seventeen again. When the message finally comes through, I’m already smiling before I’ve even read it. That’s how I know I’m in trouble.

Zane

I’ve been so busy that I skipped lunch today.

Me

It’s not like you to skip out on a meal.

A second later, a photo comes through of Zane and Ashton, both drenched in sweat, faces smudged with drywall dust. I laugh softly before saving the photo to my phone and typing a reply.

Me