Page 40 of Code Violation

“I paid Kane a visit the other day.”

My heart rate picks up, throat constricting as I try to swallow, thinking of my ex finding out how close Silas and I have become.

“You … you didn’t tell him that I’d called you the night he showed up and demanded to speak to me, did you?”

“No, of course I didn’t.” Silas shakes his head, and I breathe a sigh of relief when he comes to sit next to me. He raises a finger at the bartender, who immediately takes his order for a beer and a second martini for me.

I don’t fight him over another cocktail.

He blows a breath through his nose and swivels his stool until our outer thighs are touching. Even through the opaque tights I’m wearing, I feel his touch as if we were skin on skin.

“I told him I wouldn’t be funding his drinking or gambling habits any longer and warned him to leave you alone.” He rolls his lips together. “I bent the truth and made out like you’d filled me in on the events of that night after a game.”

I nod once. “Smart.”

Our drinks are set down on the bar, and Silas hands over his Amex like spending money is as easy as breathing. I guess for an NHL star, it is, but despite our very different lives, I’ve never related to someone so easily. It’s true when they say money can’t buy happiness, health, or a family. I think the first and last items on that list have been in short supply for us both.

“I need to ask you something.”

My heart is back to racing at a rapid pace.

“As long as it’s not if we can watch another scary movie sometime soon, then fire away.”

I expect Silas to at least smile, but he doesn’t.

“I know you have his number blocked, but do you still have feelings for Kane, or are you totally over him?”

It’s the intensity in his words that hits me harder than the question itself. That’s easy to answer.

“I’m over him,” I say without a beat of hesitation. “I think even before we split, I’d already fallen out of love with him.” I lock eyes with Silas. “How can anyone truly love a person when they treat them like shit? Make them feel less than or like they don’t matter. The last time we …” I trail off.

Silas doesn’t need to hear about me sleeping with his brother.

“Say it.”

I shake my head. “You don’t want me to finish that sentence.”

He spins my stool so I’m facing him directly, my knees nestled between his.

“Say it, Vesper. I want to hear it all.”

“Even the parts where we were intimate?”

Unmistakable pain flashes through Silas’s eyes. “I want to know all of your parts. I always have.”

As tears prick behind my eyes, I don’t try to hide my emotion from him any longer. Silas is aware that my upset isn’t born out of a broken heart, more because I allowed myself to be disrespected by such an asshole.

The second a tear hits my left cheek, two big, rough palms cup my face. I feel tiny, safe, protected, but mainly heard when Silas holds me like this.

“Over the last twelve months, Kane has cycled through a pattern of love-bombing me, only for him to cast me aside after he gets what he wants.”

“Sex?”

I press my lips together. “Yeah. Sex, money for booze, a clean and tidy apartment, dinner on the table whenever he wanted it. And I went along with that for way too long, always hoping I would eventually be enough for him. Do you know why I let him disrespect me like he did?”

I drop my eyes to the floor. Desperate sadness overtaking me.

“Why?” Silas chokes out.