Page 6 of Home Ice

A woman around Mom’s age has climbed out of the Honda, and she gives us a polite smile and a wave that I remind myself to return. But I’m too focused on the passenger door.

On the shadowy figure behind the tinted glass.

Panicked bile rushes into my throat when the door pushes open. When the chocolatey-brown hair appears. A lanky form.

And untrusting hazel eyes meet mine.

It’s like someone removed the porch I’m standing on as I meet the kid’s gaze and stare back. He’s frowning, mouth pinched, and as his gaze runs down my face to my neck and back up again, I know he’s thinking exactly what I am.

There’s no need for a paternity test.

Every photo I ever took in high school is standing right in front of me.

Chapter Two

TAI

What the hell is he doing here? Jensen Hawke comes home the last week of the offseason and for any major holidays he’s not scheduled to play.

That’s it.

That’s his schedule.

I’ve had to learn and track his visits to Watesburg to successfully avoid him all these years, and I never would have thought that grabbing my usual morning coffee would bring me face-to-face with him.

Like all those years never happened.

For the last decade, I’ve watched his career soar while mine never had a chance to get started, and while that killed me at first, I’m in a better place now. I love my job, I love Watesburg in a way I never did when I was younger, and I have my routine that has made everything so much easier.

Sometimes that sneaky reminder creeps back in and tells me I only think that way because I’m stuck here, but it’s easier to ignore than ever.

Unlike Hawke. Because while I might have cut contact with him a long time ago, I’ve never missed a game or an achievement, and I stalk his social media account way more than I want to admit.

At first, it was out of the same bitter jealousy that forced me to turn my back on him, but over the years, my jealousy has settled, and I’ve reached a place where I’m happy for him.

If I couldn’t achieve all my dreams, at least one of us did.

Do I know you?

I scowl at the memory of his reply.

He knows me all right. We both know what a bullshit line that was. We might have gone to different middle schools, but we met when we joined the same hockey team at twelve and then went all through high school and college together. The bear and the hawk. Even with everything he’s done since, there’s no way he’s forgotten that.

So I know exactly what that brush-off was.

Hawke was making it abundantly clear that he wants nothing to do with me. And I can’t even blame him for it.

I’ve finished my coffee by the time I get home, and instead of going inside right away, I divert to the small wooden chair that’s lived in our front garden forever. I just need a moment. A second to stop and breathe and process seeing Hawke again.

Not that outside is any better than in the house. Dad inherited this place from his parents, and it’s on a huge plot of land that takes forever to maintain, on top of the constant problems that pop up in an old building. I’m doing well for myself now, but there was a long time where money was tight, and medical bills were racking up, so while I no longer feel the constant pressure of overdue notices now, we only barely have our head above water.

We’re one bad thing away from going back to all that.

Not for the first time in my life, I question every single decision that got me to this place. Turning down my shot at the NHL to look after Dad had been a no-brainer at the time, but if I hadn’t done that, if I’d gone on to play and sign a multimillion-dollar contract, would that have been better for him in the long run?

Just like every time these thoughts sneak in, I shove them out again.

I’ve achieved my goal of being a high school head coach, and I’m aiming for college next. A division one team and the hefty paycheck that goes with it. It’s no hockey player salary, but it’s the kind of money that will help us move from here and pay down the credit cards a hell of a lot faster than I’m doing now.