Page 34 of The Scottish Island Wedding

‘Oh, god. I know. Now that we’re sitting here talking about it, of course you’re going to be great about it. But I just had this fear… I thought you’d run a mile if…’ He broke off.

‘If what?’

‘If you found out who I really am,’ Matty said, with some effort.

‘And who are you?’ Heather asked, holding his hand. ‘Are you someone so different from the person I met halfway up a mountain? Are you a different person from the man who talked to me so passionately about biodiversity and protecting the environment? Are you not the same man who, when he holds me, makes me feel protected and safe from all the terrible things in the world?’ She looked into his eyes, pouring all the love from her heart into his. ‘Are you that man?’

‘Yes,’ he breathed. ‘I am. But I’m also the man that’s scared stiff of losing you. Because you’re such a free spirit, and I’m the lawyer son of a noble family whose morals are… maybe not quite as wholesome as yours. And I’m the boy who went to boarding school and… it was hard. I was separated from my parents too young. I’m close to Mum now, but I’ve still been having to do a lot to work through all the resentment. I missed her so much.’ He paused for a moment, gathering what he wanted to say. Heather waited patiently.

‘Your family seem so close. So loving. Everything you’ve told me about them and your childhood. It’s just so… idyllic.’ He gazed at Heather lovingly. ‘We always had money. I never suffered in that way. I had anything I wanted, and more. But I’m not close with my brothers or my dad. Annie’s great, but she’s always gone her own way, and now I hardly see her.’

‘Matty, I do love you. I love you for a thousand reasons, not least the fact that you’re being brave enough to have this conversation with me at all,’ she replied. ‘Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. We need to have each other’s backs, all the time. Otherwise, it doesn’t work. That’s one thing I learned from my mum and dad. They have each other’s backs, always. That’s how I intend to be.’

‘You’re lucky that you witnessed that. I didn’t.’ Matty was still holding her hand. She squeezed it.

‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered.

‘It’s not your fault. It’s not mine, either, I guess. But I’m nowhere near as good at relationship stuff as you,’ he said. ‘I’m trying. I am. But all of this has shown me that I’ve got a long way to go.’

‘You can learn,’ Heather said, kindly. She so wanted to make everything better for Matty; she wanted to heal his frightened heart. But she knew that she couldn’t do it for him. That was something he had to heal for himself.

‘What if I can’t?’ he asked.

‘You will, if you’re motivated to do it. But you know what? We have to be a team. I can’t be the one always leading and you following behind. I’m here to support you every single day for the rest of our lives, if that’s still what you want, but you have to do the same for me. Okay?’

‘There’s nothing I want more than that.’ He kissed the backs of her hands. ‘Can you forgive me? And have patience, sometimes, when I’m not as emotionally literate as you?’

‘Of course, sweetheart. But you have to talk to me if you feel insecure again. Deal?’

‘Deal.’ He gathered her in his arms and held her tight.

Heather considered showing Matty the mysterious letter she’d received; she considered telling him about the odd secret-seeming meeting she’d observed Elizabeth having. But Annie had told her to ignore both things, and she and Matty had reached such a fragile accord that she didn’t want to spoil it. So, she stayed quiet.

‘Thank god. I thought I’d lost you, baby. If I did, it would be… I can’t even imagine it. It’s unthinkable.’

‘You didn’t lose me,’ she murmured, looking up into his eyes. ‘Don’t think it.’

‘I won’t,’ he murmured back, and kissed her.

Heather desperately wanted this to be the end of it – surely everything was going to be okay now he was back. They could work out a plan to get Elizabeth on side, together.

‘Was there something else you wanted to tell me, honey?’ she murmured, breaking away from the kiss. She could instinctively feel there was still something Matty wanted to say: something in his aura. But he shook his head.

‘Not for now,’ he murmured. ‘For now, I just want you.’

SIXTEEN

SUNDAY 19 DECEMBER

‘Ho, ho, ho…’ Heather could hear her father Angus Balhennie’s soft Scottish brogue as he talked to the next first child in the line that snaked around the Balhennie Inn’s lounge, and out into the hall. ‘So, Sarah, have you been a good girl this year?’

The Inn was heaving with locals. Angus and Catriona were throwing their annual Christmas party for friends and family. As part of this, Angus dressed up as Santa every year, with the requisite false white beard and padded tummy under his red and white outfit, and Catriona was Mrs Claus in an unflattering red dress with a white faux fur collar and cuffs.

In the garden, Angus and Tam Blackwood, Sorrel’s boyfriend, had erected a large shed covered in fairy lights, in which a couple of deer from a nearby farm were pretending to be reindeer for the little ones. Tam was on ‘reindeer’ duty with Sorrel – children were allowed to pose next to the deer for pictures, and there were pony rides around the garden with a couple of ancient and gentle ponies that lived on the same farm.

Heather and the rest of her sisters were on food and drink duty, which included tidying dirty glasses and plates from where people left them lying around, refilling drinks, making endless rounds of sandwiches and circulating with plates of sausage rolls, slices of Christmas cake, muffins and mini burgers.

‘Cup of tea, Dad,’ Heather murmured as she approached Angus with a mug of tea and a plate with a couple of sandwiches and a mince pie on it.