Page 29 of Cakewalk

“She was cooking you Thanksgiving? Did you not tell her?”

Holden searched his memory again. For the life of him, he didn’t remember her asking. But this was Gigi, and if he’d learned anything about her in their short time together, it was just how considerate she was of others. There was no way she would have done all that unless he had told her it was okay. Guilt surged inside him again for not remembering the conversation, on top of the embarrassment he was feeling for his tantrum.

“She sure was. And I guess I didn’t, because I’m sure she wouldn’t have done it had she known. Hell, if she’d known, she would have done something to take my mind off of it,” Holden said, the realization hitting him. You really, really fucked up, dude. “She went all out too, attempting to make it all from scratch. Then, I lost it.”

“Lost it how, Holden?” he asked, his voice almost accusatory.

“I yelled…and…” Holden paused, swallowing hard. He was so ashamed by how he acted, he could barely get the words out. “I knocked the turkey off the counter.”

“Holden Hemingway St. James,” Caulfield said slowly, drawing out each syllable of his name. Now he knew he was in trouble. “You are not the Incredible Hulk. What the hell were you thinking?”

That was a damn good question. One he didn’t really have a good answer for.

“I wasn’t, Uncle Field. I came downstairs, and she was dancing around the kitchen, getting ready to make this whole big meal, and the only thing crossing my mind was Hannah and how she was stolen from me and how this bullshit holiday does nothing but rub my face in that fact.”

“Holden, you can’t keep living like this. Hannah would not have wanted it. You need to move on. Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting her. It just means that you learn to accept that she’s not here anymore. I gotta believe that she’s looking down on you right now, and she’s hurting that you’re still in this much pain. And she’s probably quite pissed off that you’re spending her favorite holiday acting like a jackass. Did it ever occur to you that maybe Hannah sent you Gigi?”

The question caught him off guard. Could that even be possible? That from somewhere beyond the grave Hannah was trying to show him something? He'd lost everything when he’d lost Hannah. Ever since her death he had felt like he was drowning, like he would never be able to fully breathe ever again. Until Gigi walked into his life and provided the fresh air he needed. It hadn’t been one-sided either—the Gigi dancing in the kitchen this morning, the one who had bounded into his office last week, was a different woman than the one he’d met at the Busy Bean that first morning. She was definitely a different Gigi than the one who had started a kitchen fire in the carriage house. Maybe they were exactly what the other needed.

“Sounds like something that would happen in one of your books, old man,” Holden responded, trying to deflect the question.

“Holden, listen to me. You have a chance here to reenter the land of the living. You’ve done everything you can to avoid it, but you can’t anymore. So march your ass up the stairs, or back into the house to wherever that southern beauty is, and apologize.”

“I’m not sure she’ll talk to me. The look in her eyes, how afraid she was…that’s gonna haunt me.”

Holden sucked in a deep breath, holding it for a moment before slowly exhaling. He wasn’t sure there was an apology big enough to fix what he did. Gigi had never come out and said it, but her skittishness had been enough for him to know that her marriage wasn’t a good one, and he’d gone and acted like a rabid dog.

“Regardless of whether or not she’ll talk to you, you owe the lady an apology. From there, it’s up to her. But Holden, if she lets you back into her life, then you better cherish her for the angel that she is. Treat her so well she won’t remember a time before you were in her life. And then take her to bed and blow her mind.”

“Caulfield Montgomery!” Holden exclaimed.

“What? You can’t deny you want to. I told you, I can hear it in your voice.”

“I’m not having that conversation with you, Uncle Field.”

“Don’t act like such a prude!” he said, blowing off the comment. “Some good lovin’ goes a long way in the forgiveness department.”

“I’m hanging up now!”

Holden could hear his godfather laughing as he tapped the end button on his phone. Shaking his head in disbelief, he started back toward the house, thinking about the advice he was just given. Gigi would need space, that was a given, but the old man was right. He owed her an apology. A great big one.

When he got back inside, he surveyed the mess in the kitchen. The raw turkey sat in the middle of the floor, right where it had come to a halt after bouncing off the wall. The scattered chopped veggies and shattered glass from the bowls covered most of the room, each one sitting there as if it were a dead soldier on a battlefield. A stark reminder of just what an asshole he’d been not even an hour ago. A loud sigh escaped from him at the thought of cleaning it up, but cleaning would have to wait.

First things first.

He rapped his knuckle against the old wooden door to Gigi’s room, hoping she was in there. A small sliver of light snuck out from under the door, giving him hope. Her car was still in the drive, and the bathroom door was open, limiting the places she could have run to.

“Gigi?” he called out. When she didn’t answer, he knocked again. Could she be asleep? Glancing at his watch, he saw it still wasn’t even noon, so sleep was not likely, although he had no idea what time she had gotten up to start prepping the meal. “Gigi?”

Still no answer.

“Gigi, I’m sorry. What I did…how I reacted…it’s unforgiveable. I didn’t mean to scare you. I don’t remember you asking about Thanksgiving, and that’s on me. This whole thing is on me. It’s not your fault. I’m so, so sorry.”

Holden waited, but still no response. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but he knew he’d been hoping for something more than this. If he were being fully honest with himself, what he wanted was for her to open the door, throw her arms around his neck, and kiss him like she had a few weeks ago in the kitchen, even though what he really deserved was for her to open the door and smack him. Hell, even that would be better than the silent treatment.

He retreated away from the door and headed back to the kitchen to start the cleanup process and figure out a way to win back Gigi’s trust.

If he could win back her trust.