Page 98 of Seein’ Red

“There’s nothing between us, Dad. She told me she hates me.”

“Because you picked the wrong time to tell her you love her,” Pops chimes in.

What?!

“How?”

“What she needed in that moment was comfort.”

“And me telling her that I love her and that I’ve always loved her isn’t comforting?”

“No,” both elders say in unison.

Well, shit. Now I'm even more confused than before. Throwing up my hands, I stand—unable to take this chair any longer—and start to pace.

“Nash, the first time you tell a woman that, it’s supposed to be exciting. Thrilling. One of the happiest moments of her life,” Dad continues. “Not as she’s processing heavy feelings that she doesn’t understand.”

“She’s not the only one that news affected!”

“No, but it doesn’t hit us the same way it hits women.”

I stop my pacing and look at my dad. He’s calm, level, and giving me that look from my childhood that says he means business.

“Despite your stork comment, I know you know what your mama and I went through to have you two. Yes, it was tough on me too, but not in the same ways it was for her. She had to deal with the emotional and the physical. I got quite the lesson in all the ways a woman’s body can betray her during that season of our life.”

My mind flashes back to Willa and the wild ride she’s been on this week. The vomiting, the tiredness, how crabby she was. If all of that was just from some medication, I'm not sure I want to know what an actual pregnancy would do.

Shit…

I start to pace again, brain whirring. Could it be as simple as that? That I need to try again?

Fuck off, Nash. I hate you…

Those words ring out again, Willa’s voice coming through as if on a loudspeaker. And they hurt just as much now as when she said them.

“No. It’s not fixable. Choosing a different moment to tell her isn’t going to be the magic Band-Aid we all want it to be. She doesn’t want to hear it. And even if she did, she owes me an apology for everything she said too. She’s not blameless here.”

“No one said she is,” Dad remarks.

“Boy,” Pops chides, “this is not about who owes who what. That is not how these things work. But also, if Willa Hayes is your choice, you got a lifetime of apologizing first. Do that, and then you can show her all the ways she’s wrong, and you’ll get that apology. Trust me on this. Your grandmother was the same way. A tough as nails woman like that won’t make it easy, but she’ll make it worth it. Tenfold.”

He winks at me and it stops me in my tracks. He and my grandmother had a love like I’ve never seen. Something I admired as a child and have envied as an adult. The idea that I could even be a fraction of as happy as they were is enough to make me want to try.

Willa wanting to try is a different story though. A story that might be on a different page than me. Hell, after this morning we may be in different books.

Still I have to try.

No, not try. Do.

Isn’t that what Yoda taught us?

I need to be the guy I wasn’t all those years ago. I need to go after my girl and make sure she understands exactly how I feel. How I’ve always felt. And it’s not just because I thought she was pregnant. It’s because she’s perfect.

All this only leaves one question. One I hope the three guys across from me can answer.

“How?”

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