Page 104 of Good Directions

27

SAWYER

“It’s not that I’m not happy to have you back in Hurricane Shoals,” Eliza says, pressing her thumb down on the Coke button on the soda gun. “But aren’t they going to miss you back at the ag department?”

She pushes the very full plastic cup across the bar, spilling some of the dark, fizzy liquid as it moves, her pointed look impossible to miss. Doesn’t mean I don’t choose to ignore it.

“If you want me to leave, just say so,” I lob back at her, returning her pointed look with one of my own.

The shriek of a toddler slices through the air, making us both wince. I have no idea if it’s a happy or pissed-off shriek, but don’t bother turning to look. Lunchtime in any place that sells food on a Saturday during the summer in a beach resort town is always chaos, and today is no exception. Since it’s changeover day for most of the rental properties around town and the surrounding areas, places like Wall Bangers is where people end up either on their way out of town for one last lunch, or into town to hang out until their home away from home for the next week is ready.

“Did I say that?” Eliza sasses, placing her hand on her chest, pretending to be offended. “Did anyone actually hear me say that? Jason, did you hear me say that?”

The local fisherman next to me shakes his head, not bothering to look up from the paper he’s reading as he takes a bite of his burger.

“Jason, are you even paying attention? Or are you just going along with what Eliza says because you don’t want to pay full price for that beer?” I ask, pretty sure I know the answer.

Jason nods, still not bothering to look away from his paper. Thought so.

“Regardless, Dirt Doctor,” she presses on, “no, I do not want you to leave. I like having you here. But it’s also been over a week, and since it was a little bit… unplanned…”

“You make it sound like I got knocked up.”

Jason raises his head, burger halfway to his wide-open mouth, eyes ready to pop out of their sockets. Of course that got his attention.

“I’m not knocked up,” I say, making that point very clear.

He nods, taking a bite and turning back to his reading. I’ve got ten bucks that Eliza will still get asked at least once if it’s true that I’m pregnant and have to set the record straight. Because Abilene Reed will be all over this like white on rice. Same way Pixie Jerald was like a dog on a bone with the little bit of information she had at town movie night.

A pang hits me, the memory of that night swooping in, wanting to flood my senses. Except all the warm fuzzies and smiles that it should leave me with are overshadowed by the knowledge of what happened not too long after. The part that ripped out my heart and sent me running for home.

I let out a sigh, turning back to Eliza, who is busy filling up a long line of cups with soda, one ear clearly turned to me, still waiting on a response.

“They are under the impression that I am still at Hayes,” I tell her. “I didn’t exactly mention that I wasn’t in Hickory Hills during my phone interview the other day. My in-person interview is on Thursday, though, so I have to be back in Atlanta by then.”

“You excited?”

I start to answer, then stop. I am excited. Really. Although, if I’m being entirely honest, I’m maybe not as excited as I should be. Something inside me has shifted.

My phone interview went well. Incredibly well. Which, I knew it would. I’ve known everyone on the panel for years, which made the whole thing more of a conversation than an interview. Getting past them to meet with the “bigwigs” wasn’t ever in question. No, the question is going to be whether or not the paper pushers in charge, who don’t actually understand the science or the nature of research, are going to be able to see that I’m the one they want, rather than Will Nedens. That his outgoingness isn’t going to win them over. An R and D manager doesn’t need to be outgoing. They need to know their shit.

And I know my shit.

“Yes,” I say, leaving it at that.

My answer falls flat, and I know that my best friend is going to see right through it. It’s not a lie. Again, I am excited. This is an amazing opportunity. One I’ve worked really hard for.

Yet, I’m not jumping up and down internally about it like I was a few weeks ago.

“Buuuuut…” Eliza prompts.

But that was before Anton Hayes.

Before Mr. Too good-looking for his own good fruit-stand guy walked into my life and turned it upside down. Before I knew how much fun playing around in the field could be. Literally. Before I knew what life in a big, loving family was like.

Before he ripped my heart out and stomped on it.

I thought he was different. That was my first mistake. Potentially my biggest. Letting my guard down and thinking I could trust him. Only to have that trust be thrown back in my face. His words cut deep—deeper than anything ever has. I’d be lying if I said I’m not a little worried that it’s deeper than anything will ever cut again.