Page 123 of Keeping Score

“Look,” she said, reading the pain in my expression. “I know you loved Maggie. I did too. But you can’t make someone want to be with you. You just have to stick with the people who do.” She finished with a shrug, and a sad smile that only made my heartbreak more.

“We want you to come home, Brody,” Abbey said suddenly. “I want you to come home.”

I looked at her and saw the girl I’d grown up beside. She didn’t look that different, really. Same freckles on her cheeks. Same eyes that looked at me in a way that hadn’t changed despite the years or time between us.

It would be so easy, to step back into my old life. Apparently, it was still waiting for me. An option I hadn’t even known I’d had.

I had enough money to get my own place. I could work for my Dad, give him a chance to take the back seat a little bit now that he was getting up there in age. I could be surrounded by places and people I’d known my entire life. It would be comfortable. Familiar. Safe.

Just when everything had fallen apart, my friends were here to hand over the pieces and the opportunity to put them back into place. If I wanted to.

I opened my mouth to respond, but stopped when the scent of Maggie’s perfume filled the air. Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue. I let myself breathe it in one last time.

Maggie didn’t need me anymore. Maybe she never did. But back in Michigan? I could be useful there. I could be needed.

“What did I miss?” Maggie asked, sliding down into the chair.

“Not much,” I said. “Just making some plans.”

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Maggie

I’d spent most of my life in delusion.

I thought if I acted confident enough, or pretended I didn’t need anyone, it would make it true. Over the years, I’d gotten so good at pretending that sometimes I even managed to fool myself.

The thing about pretending, though, was sometimes you could trick other people when really the only one you wanted to convince was yourself.

Brody thought I didn’t need him. Brody thought I was fine on my own. And I would let him think that, rather than let him see how broken I was without him. I couldn’t tell him he was the only piece I needed to complete the puzzle of my life. Not when I’m the one who broke everything apart in the first place.

I was done with dragging Brody through my ups and downs. I needed to stabilize myself first before I could even think of trying to get him back.

And if he moved on in the meantime, well, he deserved happiness more than anyone else I knew.

Standing in the wreckage of my life, I was finally seeing things clearly. I knew what I had to do—and for now, that was putting some distance between me and everyone I cared about while I sorted through my own baggage.

And unfortunately, that happened to be the one client I’d wanted to help more than anyone. I’d already proven I couldn’t be what he needed. I’d already failed him.

“Mr. Reilly,” I said into the phone, pacing outside of the restaurant. “Hi.”

“Maggie,” Mr. Reilly said, and I couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he’d taken me up on the offer of using my first name. “Sorry I’m calling out of the blue. Do you have a minute?”

I blew out a breath, staring behind me through the glass window where I still had the perfect view of the table.

Brody was surrounded by his friends. A life I’d never been part of. I felt foreign and uncomfortable in my own skin sitting there, knowing everyone was aware of how I’d broken his heart.

Little did they know, I’d broken mine, too.

“Yeah, I do,” I answered, wanting a few minutes’ reprieve from the lunch.

“You haven’t answered my last email, so I got worried. I know we only just had the court hearing last week, but I need to know what our next step is.”

“Our next step… right,” I said, clenching my eyes shut, because the thing was—even thinking about his case hurt. It was the catalyst that forced me to finally open my eyes to my own life. The reason I unraveled it all.

How could I help this man when I’d let my emotions get in the way of the facts? I’d spent so long trying to repress everything, to keep my personal feelings at bay—and now they had opened up like a dam, drowning out every rational part of my brain.

“You see, the thing is, Mr. Reilly, I just don’t know if…” I paused, gritting my teeth. He was another person I was going to disappoint. But if I wanted to help him, the best thing to do was just remove myself from the picture. “I don’t think I’m the right person for this case anymore. I can refer you to someone great—”