Page 131 of Keeping Score

But what I didn’t know for sure is that it wouldn’t be a mistake for him. I couldn’t be responsible for ruining his life. I wouldn’t. Not when he could have any number of women who could probably guarantee him more happiness than me.

I loved Brody with my whole, entire heart.

And that was almost the cruelest part of it all.

Chapter Forty-One

Brody

It was almost midnight by the time I landed back at Logan Airport, and I couldn’t fathom how I’d been to Michigan and back in the last twelve hours.

My mind was exhausted. My body was cramped from travel. And all I wanted to do was go home and dive into bed.

But that wasn’t even an option anymore.

The only comfort I had waiting for me was the admittedly soft cushioning of Liam’s couch.

I didn’t know if Maggie had chosen to go back to the apartment, or if she was still at Liam’s. Honestly, I didn’t know which would be worse.

I couldn’t be near her, but I couldn’t be away from her either. It was a hell of a place to be.

My car was waiting in the lot where I left it, and I drove to Liam’s house in a near delirious state, still trying to mentally weigh the pros and cons of uprooting my entire life to go back to Michigan.

I’d looked at a handful of apartments while I was there, but it didn’t matter to me where I lived. It could be a box for all I cared. I always thought it wasn’t the house that made a home but the family you had beside you.

And considering I was going to be entirely by myself, I guess I might as well have chosen a sturdy box to settle down in. It wasn’t like I had any pets, or kids, or even furniture for that matter.

Fuck.

I wiped a hand over my face, willing myself to stay awake. The only Dunkin’ that was open at this hour was the one attached to the gas station, so I pulled in to the drive-thru and ordered a small, hot regular.

It probably wasn’t good to be drinking caffeine this late, but despite the physical exhaustion I felt, I had a lot of shit in my mind to sort through, and I knew I wouldn’t be getting much sleep regardless.

“Can I have a plain donut, too?” I stuck my head out the window, listing off my order to the intercom.

“Yup,” an indifferent voice drawled, apparently not thrilled to be working the Dunkin’ drive-thru at this hour. “Will that be all?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“You can pull forward.”

I got my order, giving the kid with the half-dead expression a ten-dollar bill tip in the hopes of cheering him up. It might’ve worked, but his expression didn’t really change, so I couldn’t know for sure.

I resumed the route to Liam’s house, sipping the coffee, and shitty as it was, there was something about Dunkin’ that brought comfort to the heart.

Dunkin’ Donuts. Yeah. I needed to put that on the pro column for staying in Boston.

But my family, I thought while driving. They were so happy to see me today. I hadn’t told them I was coming, just surprised my dad at his shop and dropped the bomb that I was thinking about moving home.

Damn, if his eyes didn’t light up with joy at the mere possibility.

When I was a kid, before I got serious about hockey, when I thought about the future, I guess I always pictured following in my dad’s footsteps, taking over the business for him when he got too old for it.

And I guess that time would’ve been around now. There were wrinkles around his eyes that had never been there before. And his hair, once a dark brown, was now starting to gray.

How did that happen?

And did I really want to miss out on these years with my parents?