Page 136 of Keeping Score

For now.

“Good man,” he said, slapping my back. “And whatever’s bugging you, try to let it go on the ice. I mean, that’s the good thing about this game, right? Perfect way to kill off steam.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “I’ll do that.”

“You’re a good guy, Callahan. I’m sorry to hear about you and your girl splitting, but you always have us.” He looked behind him to our teammates skating around the ice during warmups. “You know that, right?”

I felt like too much of a fraud to respond in words, so I just gave him a tight nod and skated off, knowing I couldn’t promise the same.

But I could promise to give them all I’ve got while I was still here.

Chapter Fourty-Four

Maggie

Ididn’t know if I was welcome anymore—or particularly wanted, for that matter—but that didn’t stop me from showing up at the Garden that night.

And I mean, Harbor Wolves games were for everyone. As long as you had a ticket you were golden. It didn’t matter if you were the ex-girlfriend of the goalie or the black sheep sister of the Captain.

And really, who would I hurt by sitting in the arena? Brody would never even know I was there. I was just one of thousands. That invisibility gave me the courage to go.

Not because I wanted to, but because I needed to.

For years, it had been my way of decompressing after a long day of work—to go, sit with Cassie, and watch our boys on the ice.

The blast of cold air, the roar of the crowds, the blaring horn when someone scored a goal. The noise was constant, and I welcomed it gladly.

For some, games could be overwhelming. But for me? It was almost like the external atmosphere grounded me. Kept me from thinking about court cases and documents I had to file and people I had to deal with. When I was in the arena, I focused only on the game.

And, of course, Brody.

It calmed something in me to see him having so much fun in his career. To see him excelling at such a physical role, so different from my own job.

And I guess, despite everything that happened, I still craved that—he was still my safe space. If I was miserable, at least I could go and be comforted by the fact that Brody was still living his life and doing what he loved.

No matter what happened, I could always count on that.

“Hey,” I said, sliding down into a seat beside Cassie and Lily.

I came in almost halfway through the game, after struggling with my better nature for a while. There was a good chance Brody wouldn’t notice me—a benefit to us sitting behind the goalie net—and for that I was grateful.

“Hey!” Cassie’s eyes lit up. “You didn’t tell me you were coming.”

“I didn’t know I was either, until I was already driving here,” I admitted.

“Typical Maggie.” She laughed, before taking note of my clothes. “Did you come straight from work? You must be hungry. Do you want a snack?”

My stomach growled. I’d forgotten to pay attention to things like that lately: food and nutrition and hydration and whatnot.

Those needs weren’t nearly as demanding as the little gremlin in my body that demanded caffeine at regular intervals and seethed cruel words in my ear demanding I get my work done.

But now that I was sitting? It was all catching up to me.

“Depends what you have,” I said, eyeing her bag warily. “It’s not that trail mix you make, is it?”

She rolled her eyes. “The trail mix is not that bad.”

“No,” I agreed. “But it would be better with some M&M’s in it.”