Page 147 of Keeping Score

“Excuse us for a second,” she said, tugging me by the arm away from the realtor.

“Look, Brody. Renting doesn’t make any sense if you’re moving here permanently. And you’re clearly not struggling financially,” she said. “I think it’s best to start setting down roots right away. Find yourself a nice home, somewhere you’ll be comfortable in. Somewhere you can picture yourself raising a family.”

My stomach lurched. I couldn’t even picture that life anymore if it wasn’t with Maggie. Honestly, what was I supposed to do? Meet some woman in the grocery store and forget that I’d spent the last five years imagining my future with someone else?

God, why did I tell her I was moving to Michigan?

You know why. It’s because you wanted her to ask you not to go.

If she had said she wanted me, it would’ve changed everything.

But she didn’t.

So there I was.

…in Michigan. It fucking sucked.

“I want to leave. I can’t be here right now,” I said. “Let me go sign the papers so I can fly back to Boston.”

I just needed to make the decision and be done with it all. I couldn’t be sitting on some hypothetical fence any longer. The damage was done, the decision was made. As soon as it was official, I’d be able to accept it in a way that I couldn’t now.

“Brody, take a breath,” Abbey said. “You’re being hasty. Just let me show you this other place I found and if you hate it, I promise we can come right back here and I’ll personally move you into this dump myself.”

I would’ve said no, but honestly, I didn’t care either way. It wouldn’t be home. No matter what.

Apathetic had never been a term to describe me, but this entire trip, it was all I felt. And it showed.

“Fine.” I shrugged. “Let’s go check it out.”

“See?” Abbey said proudly, hands on her hips with smugness written all over her face. “This is much nicer, isn’t it?”

It was. Even I had to admit.

“I fell in love with it when I was looking for a new place, but alas, it’s out of my price range.” She feigned a sigh and sat back down onto the couch.

“It is your style,” I had to admit.

“That’s the best part. It comes fully furnished!” she squealed. “The woman who lived here is so rich that she just decided she’ll buy all new furniture in Europe, which, by the way, is where she’s moving. What a dream.”

“You should’ve charmed your way into her life and convinced her to take you with her,” I laughed, watching as Abbey examined the golden frames lining the walls of the apartment.

I wasn’t much of an art guy. But it was pretty to look at. I’d probably leave it up. Besides, Abbey seemed to like it. And if I was moving back home, my old friends would probably come over a lot.

We could do game nights. Or movie nights.

And basically I’d go back in time about fifteen years, resorting to my teenage self.

I knew logically that a ton of people stayed in the towns they grew up in, made a happy life there and lived happily ever after. Maybe even once, I thought I might do the same. But I couldn’t help the sneaking feeling that somehow, I’d outgrown this place.

That I wanted different.

Not just Maggie.

But workouts with Liam. And texting memes to Cassie. And being a part of Lily’s life, and whatever other kids the two of them spawned out over the next few years.

I would miss it. All of it.

“So, do you like it?” Abbey asked, with the realtor staring at me with that billboard-looking smile.