Page 151 of Keeping Score

Plus, the fact that it was so early in the morning didn’t help matters much. But that was Liam’s condition to avoid being approached by fans the way we would if we were out any later in the day.

“And?” Liam pressed for more information.

I grimaced.

“He was less than pleased by the news.”

“Meaning, he was completely pissed?”

“To put it lightly.”

“Can you blame him?” Liam asked. “You’re one of the greats. It’ll be a huge loss for Boston to see you go.”

“Captain Liam Brynn calling me one of the greats?” I pressed a hand to my heart. “I’m touched. I’ve truly made it. I can sulk off into retirement in contentment now.”

“Shut up.”

“But really, it won’t be anywhere near as big of a deal as you retiring,” I said, tugging my beanie closer against my head.

“Why do you always do that?” Liam stopped, turning to face me.

“Do what?”

“Undermine yourself. You’re a hell of a goalie. You should know that. Own it.”

Him and Maggie—they were so adamant when it came to forcing you to accept validation, even when you didn’t want to. It was endearing, really, despite them looking so damned aggressive as they dished it out.

“I do,” I said, knowing that I’d put my body through the ringer over the years for the sake of the game. Knowing that objectively my stats were impressive. Knowing that Coach was proud of me. “It just… doesn’t feel like enough anymore.”

I guess Liam had rubbed off on me, because I couldn’t help the way I’d started to think of it not as this epic thing that I used to live and breathe and sweat for, but now as just… a game?

Because without hockey, when I looked around at my life, I was left with nothing. And that didn’t sit well with me. Not at all.

“It doesn’t erase the fact that you’ve broken records, played for the Stanley Cup twice, and become the fan favorite of Boston.”

“That last one is more to do with my sparkling personality than anything I’ve done on the ice.”

“It’s both, and don’t pretend like it’s not.”

“Thanks,” I told him. “But I’m ready to start building a life outside of it. The way you’ve done.”

I didn’t want to be thirty-five, on the last leg of my career, standing in an empty locker room while everyone had gone home to their families.

“I get that. Trust me, I do. I just don’t want you to sell yourself short to yourself. Most people will never accomplish half the things you’ve done in life, and hockey isn’t even at the top of that list.”

“Who knew you were so sentimental?” I gushed, knowing if I told him how much his words meant to me, he’d shrug it off like it hadn’t come from the very pits of that closely guarded heart of his.

He shook his head and picked up the pace, forcing me to take a few big steps to catch up with him again.

“What about you, though? How are you feeling about retirement?” I asked him.

“Honestly, I’m feeling extremely at peace about it all. I’m ready for it.”

“Wow, we’re really at the end of an era, huh?” I said, feeling the finality of decisions made washing over me.

“It’s time for a new set of kids to take our place,” Liam said. “Time to pass on the torch.”

“It’s scary how fast time went by.” I shook my head in disbelief. “I still feel like a kid myself. Except my body feels sort of like an old man’s.”