Page 83 of Keeping Score

Liam grimaced, pain written all over his expression as he stared at me with what felt like pity.

I hated pity. I didn’t want it. It meant he wasn’t going to give me that spark of hope I was so desperate for.

One thing about Liam was, he would never let me live in delusion. Even when I wished he would.

“Listen, man,” he said carefully. “She’s my sister, and I love her.” He paused. “But you’re my best friend, and if I’m being honest, I can’t tell you to wait around for a train that might never come.”

And there it was. My hope deflated, chest aching at the realization of his words.

Maggie always knew what she wanted and went like hell to go after it. But this time, what she wanted—it just wasn’t me.

“Fuck,” I said, tears finally escaping my eyes.

This was real. There was no undoing it. No going back.

The door swung open, and Lily bounded back into the kitchen, holding up a band-aid with a sense of urgency as she rushed toward me.

Cassie followed behind, eyes looking red and puffy as she trailed behind her daughter. I watched Liam clock her mood and maneuver around the counter to be by her side in an instant.

If anyone had asked me five years ago who out of the two of us would be married first, I would’ve bet every last dollar in my bank account that it would be me.

I actually wanted it. A wife. A family. Liam couldn’t have cared less about it. Not until Cassie.

I had a strange pang of jealousy seeing him live the life I envisioned having with his sister. A dream that had been ripped away from me before I even had a chance to see it slipping away.

“Here, Uncle Brody,” Lily said, staring up at me with wide, innocent eyes. “I got this to make you better.”

“Thanks, kiddo,” I said, forcing myself to smile down at her.

“I’m gonna put it right here, okay?” she said, before placing the band-aid on my chest, right on the fabric of my shirt. “Because your heart is in here and this will make it better.”

My throat felt hollow, stomach twisted. Everything hurt. I had a feeling everything would always hurt now. I better get used to it.

“Thanks, Lil,” I said, but she interrupted me with a kiss on top of the band-aid.

“You’ll be better now, because when someone who loves you kisses your boo-boo, it makes it all better. Right, Mommy?” She turned, and I followed her gaze to see a sniffling Cassie, as Liam stood with his arm around her.

“Right, baby,” Cassie nodded.

“And I love you, Uncle Brody,” Lily confirmed, turning her green eyes back to me. Green eyes like Maggie’s.

“I love you, too, Lil,” I told her. “Thanks for fixing my heart.”

I lied for her sake. I knew there was nothing left to fix.

Chapter Twenty-One

Maggie

Sometimes, I avoided going to therapy.

Especially during the times when I needed it most.

I just… didn’t want to feel like I was broken and needed to be fixed. I knew I had problems. Everyone did. But I didn’t see what dumping them on another person would really do for me in the long run.

The thing about Linda was, she never made me feel like that. Instead of being a person I ranted at, she was like a mirror being held up to me, giving me the tools to cut through my own bullshit. And she wasn’t afraid to tell me when I was being a pain in the ass, which was honestly pretty refreshing. Her words weren’t usually as colorful as that, but I appreciated the sentiment nonetheless.

I liked people who were genuine. They were all too rare to come by, and I had a knack for seeing through facades.