Page 94 of Keeping Score

He hurt and he felt as deeply as anyone. And when he shut people out? That’s how I knew I’d really done damage. By trying to bandage up my own wounds, I poked at my brother’s that had never even had a chance to heal over.

I hated myself for it.

“How’s Liam?” I dared to ask.

Cassie sighed.

“He has a lot on his mind, I think.” Then she deflated. “Honestly, I don’t know what to do for him to make him feel better. It makes me feel useless.”

“Cassie, I know you absorb everyone else’s emotions like a sponge—”

“Hey—” she opened her mouth to protest.

“You do,” I stopped her. “But you don’t have to feel responsible for other people’s feelings.”

“I can’t help it; I just love you guys so much.”

“And we love you, Cass.” I wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “That’s why we don’t want you taking on all of our problems.”

“That’s your problem, Maggie.” She frowned at me. “You think you have to do everything alone. Well, I won’t let you.”

She smiled smugly, settling back against the couch in contentment.

“At the end of the day, we’re all on our own, aren’t we? Isn’t it easier to just get used to figuring shit out by ourselves? Instead of expecting people to swoop in to fix it and get disappointed when no one does?”

“That’s…” Cassie frowned. “An incredibly sad way to think about life.”

“Well, lucky for you, you don’t have to. Liam thinks he’s your emotional shield whose sole duty is to keep you from harm.”

She blushed. “He does not.”

“He does,” I confirmed. “It’s not a bad thing. He’s head over heels for you, Cass. Honestly, I should be sickened by it on account of him being my brother and you being my best friend, but really I’m glad you have each other.”

“Were you mad at Liam?” she asked suddenly. “For dating me when I was your friend?”

“Oh yeah,” I laughed jokingly. “But I got back at him by getting with his.”

Then I sighed, remembering everything.

“Maggie, can you honestly tell me you don’t want to be with Brody?” She fixed me with a look. “And tell me the truth because I’ll know if you’re lying.”

“Honestly, Cass. My head is so screwed up I don’t know what I want,” I told her honestly. “But I know I don’t want to do this without him.”

“Do what?”

“Life,” I said. “He makes it easier. Better. He makes it all feel bearable. But I don’t want to be selfish. I can’t keep dragging him down into my problems.”

“You’re not dragging him down. He loves you.”

“He has the perfect family. A job he loves. A correctly functioning brain,” I emphasized. “How is it fair to crash into his life and constantly pull him into my own emotional turmoil? I’ve done nothing but make life harder for him.”

“I doubt he sees it that way, Maggie,” she said. “You don’t know how he looks at you. Liam’s always said that since the moment Brody saw you, he had his sights set on you.”

“I know,” I told her. “But he deserves better.”

“No,” Cassie said adamantly. “You deserve each other. You know why? Because you love each other, and people who love each other should be together.”

“Is it that simple?” A corner of my lip quirked up.