Page 75 of Slapshot Baby

Ava’s fingers interlocked with mine, pressing into a mattress. Her hand, smaller, gripping hard. My body above hers and her eyes wide open, locked on mine.

Keep your eyes open, I hear myself say. My own voice, but from somewhere I can't reach.

Then it's gone.

The sensation dissolves. I open my eyes. The ceiling is just a ceiling and my hand is empty.

My brain is manufacturing things from all that’s happened tonight.

When you put your hands on a woman who makes your whole body vibrate, your mind starts manufacturing stories. That's all this is, nothing more.

I pull the blanket up and turn onto my side.

From the bed above me, Ava's breathing has gone deep and slow. She’s asleep.

I flex my fingers in the dark. These fingers that were inside her felt for one flickering second like they'd been laced through hers before.

It's nothing. Just my imagination.

But I don't sleep for a long time.

13

AVA

Broken Rules

Days after Kai made me come from nothing but his mouth on my breasts, I'm sitting in an OB-GYN waiting room filling out a form.

The form wants the baby's father's medical history. I write unknown in the field.

The next line wants family history of hereditary conditions.

Unknown. Unknown again.

If this form were a personality quiz, my result would be Woman Who Made One Extremely Memorable Decision.

The waiting room is aggressively cheerful. Pastel walls. A stork mural. Magazines with glowing pregnant women on the covers who look like they planned every step of their motherhood journey with a supportive partner.

I had a one-night stand with a professional athlete. His condom broke and my birth control pills were apparently on vacation the same week I was.

Now I'm pregnant and hiding it from the father, who I can still remember the feel of his mouth on my skin from the lake house.

That's the part of our fake dating I can't shake.

The sweet sensations he made me feel on that door. The handjob I gave him afterward while he groaned my name into my shoulder. The second orgasm he pulled out of me with two fingers while promising I'd beg for him one day.

I drew lines. Built walls. Set rules.

But the moment Kai put his hands on me, I detonated without effort.

The worst part is the relief that followed it, like my body had been holding its breath for weeks and finally let go. And now it won't go back to pretending.

My thighs clench together in the waiting room.

Stop it, Ava. Just stop it.

A nurse appears in the doorway. "Hartley?"