Page 94 of Make Me Laugh

I have so little memory of the night, but I do remember the look on Kell’s face before everything went black.

Fear of death.

I hope I never see that look on anyone’s face ever again.

“A drunk driver ran a stop sign going sixty-five and T-boned us on Micah’s side. Kell was ejected, somehow thankfully suffering the least injuries.” I’m so fucking glad I didn’t give in and let him ride up front. “I woke up in the hospital a week later to find out Kell had survived and was up and walking, but my ACL had torn again, I had a few broken ribs, I’d been in a medically induced coma for a week while my body healed from surgeries and internal bleeding, my hockey career was officially over, oh, and Micah—” It’s only been three years, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop missing him. I definitely don’t believe I’ll stop feeling guilty. “Micah was pronounced dead at the scene. So was the other driver.”

People think the man responsible being dead should make me feel better, but it doesn’t. Two people had to die. Two families lost someone they loved. Two best friends will never be the same…

I’m almost afraid to look at Joey again. I’ve never openly talked about this with someone who didn’t know him.

I didn’t have to tell Joey, though. I chose to. I want her to know about him.

“Is Micah your brother?” she asks gently.

Is… Not was. Regardless of life or death, Micah will always be my brother.

Forcing my eyes back to hers, I nod. “Yes.”

Joey’s face falls, and I recognize the guilt immediately. “We don’t have to post that, West. I’m so sorry…”

I’ve spent a lot of time breaking down over this. I’ve done so much fucking therapy but nothing has helped quite like making people laugh.

I shake my head. “No, it’s okay. You can post it.”

She stares at me with a look I thought was worry at first, but realize it’s something so much better. I think Joey sees me. I don’t know how to explain it, but I think she knows I started comedy for Micah—not me.

Goddamn it, I think I love her.

I have to say something. I have to keep talking or I’m going to make a mistake and run her off. “If it weren’t for Enzo being a brother to me when I’d lost mine, I don’t think I’d be here today. I’d lost everything. My future. My dream. And worst of all, my only sibling, but my parents had already lost one son. They didn’t need to see me lose myself too.” I’d felt so selfish grieving my hockey career—my brother had just died and I was sad about a meaningless sport. “He let me crash on his couch in London, eventually forcing me to get a job at this comedy club down the road as a bartender because he was sick of seeing me rot.” I forget what a short period of time ago that was. It sometimes feels like decades separate me from the person I’d been before the accident. “As cliche as it is, comedy saved me, and my outro is a way to bring my brother into a part of my life that never would have existed had he not died.”

I would trade it all, every last bit of it, to get Micah back.

I’ve said those exact words a million times, but the ones I think next are new: as long as I get to keep Joey.

She surprises me by crawling into my lap and wrapping her arms around my torso in a hug I never would have asked her for but so desperately needed. “Thank you for telling me about him,” Joey whispers with her ear against my chest, like she’s listening to make sure my heart’s still beating. “I’m glad you’re still here.”

I wrap my arms around her, resting my chin on the top of her head. There’s no doubt in my mind anymore… “Thanks for giving me a reason to talk about him.”

I’m in love with Joey.

We stay in this spot until the front door on the first floor opens, and Kell’s voice echoes up the stairs. “There’s some dude here with tacos!”

Joey untangles herself from my arms and stands, taking all the warmth from my body with her.

“There better be enough for us!” Enzo calls. “Because I have a surprise!”

“And the surprise also loves tacos!” Frankie’s voice is followed by footsteps racing up the stairs.

“Franceska Sullivan, I knew you were up to something when your location froze after leaving my house today!” I stand up, watching as Joey races across the room to meet Frankie on the top of the stairs.

Frankie’s not even up the last step before she’s throwing herself into a hug. “Sorry! I found out I could leave today and texted Enzo to see if he’d pick me up so I could surprise you.”

“I thought it was so weird you were going to see a movie with Kell,” I tell Enzo as he comes up the stairs next.

Kell yells from the bottom of the staircase. “What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

“Um, hello?” a voice calls, muffled by the half-closed front door.