Page 36 of Back Outside Edge

April

Outside Oakland, CA

It's taking Evan too long to respond, and I'm second-guessing the shit out of myself. Why is this something that’s becoming a trend with Evan?

Our conversation was going so well, felt so much like it did when we were at Worlds. I didn't even think about my words before I typed them out and hit send. But maybe this was too much, too soon. He just reached out to me, and ten seconds later, I'm inviting myself over. And when over is to an entirely different country, it’s kind of a big deal. It's ridiculous. I'm so over the top.

And how transparent am I? How painfully obvious is it that all I want to do is see him again, be with him again? I've done everything I can to forget him, forget our kiss, over the past couple months. But the moment I saw his text, it was almost impossible not to squeal like a girl and answer immediately.

Maybe I should have asked him over to me instead. But then he would have felt like he had to buy tickets, and I don't think he can afford them. How can I work around that?

Me

Or maybe it would be easier if I fly you down and then we can use my rink. There'll be no issues getting private time that way

Shit, shit, fuck. That came out all wrong.

Me

Private rink time, I mean, not private time

It's not a public rink, so we wouldn't have to worry about public schedules. Or passes or whatever. If you want

Well, if I didn't seem like a complete mess before, I sure do now. I set down my phone, clasping my hands to keep them from picking it back up. No more texting until he gets back to me. I sound like a desperate child. But then, I feel like a desperate child. Like I'd do just about anything to have Evan here with me.

My phone dings. I snatch it up and turn it over to see the message.

Evan

It's not as straightforward for you to come here. The university is pretty protective of its rink, and while I could probably get you a visitor's pass, it might include some extra publicity on your part.

Oh, ok. He was checking out the details. That’s a good sign, right?

Evan

Feels weird to ask you for a favor and then let you fly me down, though. And I'm not sure I can afford a hotel down there. Plus my schedule is pretty packed.

Yes! He's thinking about it. He's really thinking about it. Even his objections sound weak, like he wants it to happen but hates to ask. Or agree, I guess.

Me

It's honestly just as much a favor for me as you. Maybe even more. Max is breathing down my neck

Evan

I'm not sure that's true.

Me

Did you miss the fact that he was only five points behind me at Worlds? You should definitely come down here. You can stay with me. We can make it a long weekend if that helps

Oh, fuck, is that too much again? I just don't know. I've never done this before. Never wanted to spend time with someone like this.

Evan

Are you sure? It still feels weird.

Me