Page 48 of Back Outside Edge

Not that he's desperately in love with me, the way I was with Caro. Of course not.

However, since he wants me in control and gets off on pain, I'm the one who has to be responsible. I'm not very familiar with the BDSM world, even after a few days of frantic internet searches, but that feels obvious.

Stefan sighs, slumping back against the couch, and I let him, giving him a little more space. Georgia immediately takes the few inches of his lap I’ve uncovered, somehow squeezing herself between us. Tea presses herself beside him on the other side of me, and despite the gravity of the moment, I can’t help but laugh. His cats are ridiculous. Adorable little chaos bombs.

I'm still pressed up to him, fighting Georgia for the lap space, arms around his neck, but there are more than a few inches between our mouths for the first time. It's almost painful, the distance, even with a cat between us. Especially with a cat between us? She’s warm, and furry, and apparently made of water, but she’s a whole living being between my body and Stefan’s.

When I raise my eyes back to Stefan’s face, he looks so gorgeous and debauched, so precisely the way I've wanted to make him look since Worlds. His face is red with beard-rash, lips swollen, eyes hooded. I picture how he'll look more perfect in bed, naked, after I've done everything he's willing to let me do to him, and shiver.

"I don't know." His eyes are big, begging me to let it go and go back to doing whatever I want with him. He wants me to read his mind and pick up what he wants without him saying anything. It’s not what he needs. "I just want you."

I lean in carefully, not wanting to squish a cat, but letting my need to taste him again take over, and brush his lips with my own. I keep it light, easy, almost friendly. Georgia squirms, annoyed, between us, and Stefan pushes her away with a huff. "I understand,” I say, once it’s only me in his lap again. “I love that you do. I want you, too, but how do you want me? What do you want me to do to you?"

He's got to be well-versed enough to be aware of what men do together, right? Nobody's innocent enough not to know at least the basics of what I'm asking. "I want you to fuck me," he breathes, and my breath catches. Oh, God. Yeah, he knows.

My dick is never going to forget how it reacts to those words. It's a good thing Georgia is gone, because its leap might have had her attacking it.

"Ok." I'm doing everything I can to keep my voice from shaking at the sheer, raw need pouring through me. In the wildest of my imaginings I never considered Stefan being so willing, so open. I'd assumed he'd want to top. I guess I was wrong.

This means I, too, am going to be delving into new territory. Literally.

When I snort, Stefan's eyes narrow. "Is that funny?" His voice tells me he can't decide whether to be hurt, annoyed, or amused.

"No, sorry." I soothe his edges with another kiss, letting it go a bit deeper this time. "I was just making stupid puns in my head." I don't think he's convinced, but he lets me get away with diverting him. "Anything else you've been dreaming about?"

"You think I've been dreaming about you?" He's trying to sound snarky, but with my lips still touching his and his face burned raw by my stubble, it's far from successful.

"I know I've been dreaming about you."

"Oh?" His voice jumps about an octave on the word, and his cheeks brighten more as he clears his throat. "Maybe you should tell me what you want, then. Why am I the only one who has to?"

I smile into his lips. It's another fair point. "Maybe I should. Sooner or later, I want to try both top and bottom with you. I kind of want to edge you until you scream." Which is, perhaps, a bit more honest than I should be with him at this point, but he asked. "Since you seem to like pain, I want to play with that more, see what gets you off."

I haven't done enough homework the past few days, but at least I understand some of the general concepts. I'd wanted to be prepared, just in case. I hadn't realized how prepared I'd need to be. "If you want it, it might be fun to tie you up, too." None of these are things I’ve ever considered doing with anyone else, but I’ll do anything to give Stefan that look of absolute bliss.

He's squirming under me by the time I finish my list. "How much of that do you think we can do before you go?" No protestations; interesting.

"As much as you want." I kiss him again, letting our tongues tangle for a few seconds this time. "But maybe we should start with something easier."

"Like what?" He's straining up toward me again, begging with his body. Does he realize it?

Reaching down, I run my palm over his erection. Even through his clothes, I can tell he's iron hard. He lets out an honest-to-God whimper when I increase the pressure of my hand, curling it around him as best I can. "Let's go upstairs. Maybe get your pants off."

"Yes."

It's the kind of enthusiastic consent I can get behind.

We leave a trail of clothing behind us as we alternately rush and stop dead on the way to his room. There's a long pause when I grab the waistband of his pants, pulling him in to me, then work the button and zipper open. I take my time with it, kissing him. Another when he returns the favor, falling to his knees in front of me, eyes wide as he watches my face while he tugs my pants down my thighs.

I freeze, wondering what he'll do now he's got his mouth inches and one set of boxer briefs away from what is, I assume, his first dick. I don’t want him to feel pressured into anything he's not ready for, just because he happens to be in a particular position. His hands wrap around my hips, fingers sliding under the waistband of my underwear. As he pulls down, our eyes never leave each other.

His fall away when my briefs get caught, though; I’m too hard for them to slide off easily. He groans, then looks back up at me with an embarrassed grin. "Ok, I guess some things are different."

"You didn't know what I was packing this whole time?" I say it dryly, wanting to pull a laugh out of him.

Instead, he gives me a brilliant smile. "Just not used to having to pull out and down at the same time on someone else." He adds movement to his words, and my underwear slide down my legs, bunching with my pants around my ankles. Then he's the one freezing, taking in what's directly in front of his face.

His eyes flick up to mine, dark in the dim light, then back down. "You don't have to do anything." My voice is hoarse, though, and he catches it. He smiles up at me again before, very deliberately, he leans forward. My heart skips a beat when his tongue flicks out, sliding up my length in a single, drawn-out line. "Oh, God, Stefan."